Dysfunctional (Sequel to Soft Whispers)

Rejected

"Alright, talk to me" Dr. Hayes stated as she walked into my hospital room, she sat down in the chair by my bed and pulled out her notepad and pen. "Or write to me".

About what?

"About why you're in here, of course" she said simply. 

I overdosed.

"And why'd you do that?" 

Because I want to die.

"Why?" 

I don't think I'm quite fond of living anymore. I don't think there's a point. No one likes me, they think I'm seeking attention for all of the drama that's because of me. Plus, Jacob left.

"So you think no one likes you?" She asked.

I nodded.

Yeah.

"That's not true, I like you and your brother likes you, loves you even. Also, there's a young man that's fighting off sleep right now in the waiting room, to see you, and I'm pretty sure it's because he either likes you, or loves you".

If you're talking about Chresanto, then he doesn't love me. I honestly don't know why he's here.

"Why do you say that?"

He left me a note saying so.

I thought about exactly what was written and I held back my tears. 

I don't want to talk about what was written on said note.

"Okay, and you don't have to" she reassured. I watched as she wrote something down. "You know you're off Zoloft, right?" 

I nodded. 

Yeah, but I'm taking Prozac now, right?

"That's correct". 

Why give me more pills if I just ovordosed? Isn't that kind of stupid?

She sighed, "it is. The only reason I am is because maybe Zoloft just wasn't the right medicine for you. I know you probably but don't want to hear this, but since you're under twenty-five you're bound to have suicidal thoughts when it comes to antidepressants. Studies show that if you're under twenty-five then they may or may not occur. I can't change that, and I really don't want to wait until you reach the age of twenty-five to give you anti-depressants". 

Why? Because I might not make it to the age?

"No, because I want you to get better as soon as possible".

But I might not.

She looked at me and I could tell she was thinking of what to say to me. I looked away from her and instead looked at the door, from where I sat, I could see Ray pacing back and forth in the hallway. I looked away from him too, and instead just stared at my IV tube. 

"You might not".

>>*<<

When do I get to leave?

"Sunday" Ray answered casually, he was sitting down at the edge of the bed and flipping through channels on the tv, he was also snacking on some French fries. "People think hospital food is so disgusting, but it really isn't" he stated, "and plus the breakfast here is cheap as hell".

I smiled a little and watched as he looked at me. "So when can I let Chresanto see you?" 

I shook my head a little. 

He furrowed his eyebrows, "did something happen?" 

No, I just don't want to see him right now. Not when I'm in here.

"Oh, okay?" He said, unsure. I watched him as he directed his attention back on the tv and I mentally thanked God. 

"So I think I'm going to ask Jordan out tomorrow" he suddenly stated. 

A big grin made its away across my face and I would've crawled to him and hug him, but my IV tube wasn't allowing me to do so. He looked back at me and chuckled, he shook his head a little and looked back at the tv. I was excited. I knew he would ask her sooner or later, I just wish it was sooner than later.

>>*<<

I yawned as I stretched out on the bed, I looked at the new cuts I had made the night of my overdose before looking up at the door. I was expecting Chresanto to walk in, I didn't want to see him, but I did want to see if he was going to do the same thing he did yesterday. 

Ray was downstairs probably eating everything that was in the hospital's cafeteria and my mom and dad were speaking with Dr. Hayes some more. I can admit that I was lonely, I would have someone to talk to... But I think they left, or they're ignoring me. I hope he didn't leave. I didn't get to say goodbye. 

As I listened to the annoying beep of the heart monitor, I found my eyelids growing heavy. I yawned again and rested my head on the pillow and I pulled the blanket up to cover my arms, I turned on my side and closed my eyes. Maybe Chresanto wasn't going to come this time. Half of me wanted him to, and the other didn't. 

Suddenly, shuffling was heard and I could hear someone mumbling to themselves. I didn't know what to feel when I knew it was Chresanto. 

"I can't come home yet" he murmured, "no. For God's sake, she's in the hospital".

Who was he talking to?

I felt him press a kiss to my cheek, just like yesterday, but this time he didn't say anything.

He just left.
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Completely ran out of words for this chapter, this is why it is so short. I apologize for that, and I also apologize for any mistakes.
Love,
Me.