Clarke's POV
I looked down at the blade i had pulled out, and adrenaline poured through my veins as i thought about what i was going to do. Life is simple for some, but for people like me, life can be a living hell, which just keeps on going. For people like Blake, life was some what there for him, he had his friends, his sister and probably more people then ill ever have, to supported me in any trouble of my life.
My thoughts about death made me scared, because in all honesty i didn't want to die... But i felt like nobody wanted me here. So i did what my brain told me to without thinking the blade i had found, slide across my skin and as i looked down not only had i slit both of my wrist but they were pouring out blood, it ran down my arms as i watched it hit the floor. Why can life be as simple as this...
My thoughts were cut short when i heard a loud knocking at the bathroom door.
"Clarke open up..." it was silent for a couple of seconds then i heard Blake sigh and hit his head against the door. "You've been in there for hours Clarke, please come out I'm sorry i didn't mean to snap at you.. i didn't mean to say any of those things Clarke please come out" his voice cracked right at the end as if he was crying, but i ignored him and looked back down at my arms dripping blood.
"I dont deserve to live, i don't deserve anyones protection... Its all my fault everything is my fault and it always will be I'm nothing better then a filthy whore, who got her mother killed" tears started to run down my face, and as i felt the burn from my arms i started to hyperventilate.
All of a sudden i heard a loud crash from outside my door and looked up to see Blake looking back at me, then he looked down at my arms and a sudden looked of concern, hurt and sadness washed over him. Why would he even care, he said so himself, he'd protect me but id never be his or remotely with him, so why care.
"C.....Clarke, what did you do" Blake ran over to my side and quickly grabbed a towel rapping it around my wounds to stop the bleeding. I continued to cry looking at him.
"No one wants me Blake, not even you and I'm a screw up.... I'm the one who almost got herself killed, I'm to blame for my mothers death, and for getting taken and raped by those horrible people, I'm to blame for everything... i don't deserve to live" at this point i had completely broken down and was sobbing uncontrollably, i looked back up at Blake and he was crying to, not ever did i think someone like Blake would cry.
I reached up to his face and wiped his tears, accidentally smearing some blood on him in the process but i didn't think he really cared. "Don't cry.. someone like you deserves to be happy" i lightly smiled with tears still strolling down my face.
"Its just Clarke... If i let you in, if i decide to love you and cherish you.. i won't be able to stop myself and i won't be able to stop the horrible people like your father from getting ahold of you because Clarke, I'm in a gang as well, but one of the most powerful one's which basically runs this country Clarke and someone like you deserves better then me" he continued to cry and and shut down looking to the ground, like he was ashamed of being the person he was.
I grabbed his chin and pulled his face up so i could look him in the eye. "Do you think id care if you were in a gang, i know who you are, i know you'd never hurt me like my father did, i know that even though your a total bad boy and you like to hurt people from time to time, you have good intentions.. your the good guy in this scenario" he chuckled lightly and finally smiled.
"Its just... C..Clarke i don't want to hurt you" he started to cry again, and i think he totally forgot i was still bleeding out but hey i don't want to ruin the moment.
"You'd never hurt me" i fainted once i finished my sentence and fell into Blake's arms.
I looked up in his and we both smiled at each other. "Clarke i think we need to get Jarod in here" i nodded in response. Blake was going to put me down to call out to Jarod but i stopped him.
He looked back at me concerned. "What is it Clarke" Then and there i did what my heart told me, i grabbed his face and lightly met his lips with mine, for a second Blake tensed, but then relaxed and kissed me back. "Women your gonna be the death of me" i giggled slightly when he said that. "Okay ill be back, imma go get Jarod keep this held tight" Blake put me down and lent me against the bathroom sink and as i held the towel tight to my wrist, i thought that i hope something finally good happens, i hope i can be happy, i hope Blake can be mine and i don't mean to be selfish in anyway but i just want life to move forward and not backwards.
Minutes later, i started to feel very faint and by now the blood had gone through the towel and i could see myself in the mirror across from me that was the shower stool and i looked very pale. i tried to speak and my throat really hurt of some reason.
"Blake.... Blake........... Blake" tears rolled down my face, did he forget about me. Then all of suddenly like lightening, Blake ran in wiht Jarod behind him and his medical kit. "Blake" i smiled looking up at him as he lent down. "I...I thought you forgot about me" He shook his head.
"Id never forget about you Clarke" Blake pushed the hair out of my face and smiled at me. "Never in a million years" then it all went sort of black...
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The Beaten up nerd and the sucked in bad boy (Under Editing)
Teen Fiction(Under Major Editing) Meet Clarke Makenzie the torn, beat up, 17-year-old nerd which endures endless pain and torture from the ones around her. Since she was 12 years' old, she has lived with the one and only her father Graham Makenzie, in the year...
