Bullet in a Bonfire

Chapter Fourteen

Happy made me feel whole. Just his presence made me feel like I could fight the world and win. He made me feel safe and untouchable. I was snapped out of my day dream by a banging on my door. Happy was closest so he answered it for me. 

"I need to talk to my sister", Jax spoke. Happy turned looked at me for confirmation that he allowed in before moving to the side. 

"I'll be okay Hap", I nodded to him. He hesitantly excused himself from the room leaving me and Jax alone. 

"Didn't I say no members?" Jax slightly laughed.

"Didn't I tell you to stop ordering me around like a crow".

"You know it's my job right? I am your big brother". We sat next to each other on the bed. 

"Jax I'm a grown woman. I appreciate your want to protect me but you have to loosen the reins a little". 

"Last time I loosened the reins you left, and showed up seven years later with a kid and beat to hell. Ana it hurts seeing you all bruised and broken, while knowing it's my job to protect you. I lost Thomas and dad then you left and no one ever thought we'd see you again. I don't want to loosen the reins again". 

"Jax I'm here. I'm not leaving again, you've got to believe me". I laid my head on his shoulder. "You forgave Tara, why can't you forgive your own sister".

"I don't even know that I've forgiven her. I'm working on it darlin. I love you and nothings going to change you just gotta work with me a bit. Stop pushing back so hard". That last part gto a lugh out of both of us. 

"You know that never been my strong suit". He kissed my head and we sat together for a minute. 

"So you and Happy?" 

"Maybe", I felt my cheeks become hot and hid them behind my hair. 

"I'm not going to say I love the idea of you two together but I don't completely hate it",

"Well that's an improvement from literally every other guy I've ever been with".  

"Stop dating assholes and I won't hate them".

"Stop dating skanks and I won't hate them". We both gave each other playful glares then stood from the bed. "We good?"

"Of course", having settled everything we went out to the front in time to greet Clay. 

"Church now!" was all he said. All the members piled into the chapal without another word. Chibbs handed Harper to me as he passed by. I sat down and cuddled by baby while things were seemingly calm. I saw Outlaw chasing prospect around outside. It's weird how even though I should be terrified to be here right now because of the hit on Clay, I feel perfectly safe cuddled up on this couch that I've spent many nights on knowing my family was on the other side of the door. 

Before I knew it everyone was walking back out of the chapal, and Happy was sitting next to me.

"Want a drink?" He asked me. 

"Yes please!" I laughed sitting up. Nina was here incase I needed her so I figured I'd give Harper to her for the night.  I went and found Nina who was happy yo hang with Harper. Happy finally caught beck up with me a couple minutes later with my drink. "Finally!" 

"Sorry Tig kept talking and wouldn't shut up", he chuckled. We sat together talking and laughing for a couple of hours. Before we knew it we were the only ones awake in the front of the house. 

"Hey you want to go for a night walk?"I asked standing to me feet reaching my hand out. He happily took it and followed me outside. "You know you're still a huge mystery to me" I laughed as we walked along the sidewalk with the stars shining down on us. 

"I could say the same about you". 

"Fine for every one of my questions you answer I'll answer one of yours". 

"Deal but I go first". The smirk on his face made my heart race in anticipation for what was going to be said next. He thought for a moment before finally deciding on a question, "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" I choked on my own breath. 

"Diving right in" I let and awkward laugh out. 

"Hey you didn't say any questions were off limits" .

"No your right, just caught off guard I guess", I thought fro a second before answering. "I think I was 16, honestly the night is such a blur I got wasted and slept with my boyfriend at the time. Next thing I knew Opie and JAx were beating the shit out of him for finding us in bed together". 

"Something tells me you have a lot of stories about your brother and Opie beating up poor boys", he teased. 

"That I do. Okay my turn what tattoo do you regret most?" 

"Honestly none of them. I got all of them for a reason and even though those reasons may not be relevant to my life now there were then. I guess they keep my head on straight through all the shit".

"I like that" I turned so we were face to face and I was looking into his eyes. "Your turn". 

"What are you trying to do to me with those vibrant green eyes?" 

"Trying to get you to take me home" I joked. 

"Now now sweetheart if you want me in bed all you have to do is ask". He pulled me closer into him. "Lord knows I want you", he leaned down to my ear his breath sending goose bumps down my spine, "all of you". 

"Then take me". I pressed my lips to his as he pulled me into him deeper. "Take me back to my room" I whispered he took my hand and led me back. Luckily we had walked very far because I wanted him and I wanted him now. I ached for ever since I saw him the first time. after about a minute that felt like hours we made it back to my room. We wasted no time undressing each other. Happy pinned me against the door kissing my neck as I undid his belt. 

"You sure?" He asked me.

"Positive".