Bullet in a Bonfire

Chapter Twenty-Two

3 weeks. It's been 3 weeks since buried her in the ground. After her funeral I was stuck in fix it mode. Everyday I would get up, go for a jog with Harper and Outlaw, then it was off to take Kenny and Ellie to school before I drop Harper off with Anita and Abel and Jax's house, before work. After a long day of work I pick up Harper then Kenny and Ellie in time to help Mary get them dinner and to bed after homework before eventually getting home and crawling onto to bed to do it all over again. I've only talked to Happy about three times since the funeral and he hasn't been staying with me either. 

I pulled into Jax's driveway walking straight in to expecting to be met by Anita, unfortunately the person sitting at the table feeding Abel was not Anita. 

"Oh, sorry. Normally Anita's here by now" I mumbled. 

"She's sick. I thought she called you" Tara didn't seem to seem to mind my presence. I pulled out my phone checking it. I saw I had a voicemail and text message from Anita saying she's sick. 

"I guess she did. Sorry I've had a busy morning". I had now let Harper on the floor to scoot around. We both sat there in silence watching her move around the kitchen and play. Finally I spoke up breaking the silence. "Are you and Jax together?" 

"I-I don't know".

"Well you taking care of his baby". 

"Touché" We gave each other soft smirks. 

"Is my brother happy?" 

"As far as I'm aware, why?" 

"Because that's all I care about. That's all I've ever cared about Tara. As long as he's happy and Abel has a stable mother figure not that junky whore. I will support you."  Even I was shocked about my confession. 

"Why the change of heart?" 

"I'm not saying we are going to be best friends again, but Jax has lost enough. He deserves a win and I won't be the one to stand in the way of that. Just remember you're not just in his life but Abel's too". 

"I may have miss judged you. You really aren't the same girl that you were when I left". 

"I guess I'm not" as much as it hurts to admit I'm not. Ever since I got back I've been trying to prove to myself and to everyone else that I'm this untouchable badass, no fucks given type of person. But that's not who I am now. I care so much it hurts and its destroying me trying to keep up this persona. 7 years ago I would have burned this town down looking for blood to get revenge for her. Now I just want everyone else to get out of this shit show alive. I have to accept this new role if I want to protect my family. If I stay on the outside I can only do more damage then good. 

"I guess we both ended up in the role we hated most," Tara laughed. We used to always to always saw we weren't going to just be someone's old lady. Yet here we are. 

"I guess we did. Hey I know you probably need to get going to work, I can take Abel and just work from home for today". 

"Yeah that'd be great. Only if you're sure". 

"Absolutely!" I took Harper out to the car with Tara right behind me with Abel. We got both the babies safely strapped in and I pulled out of the driveway. I made my way to the club house, I haven't seen everyone in a while and I might as well hangout for a bit. I managed to get both the kids out of the car with Harper on my hip and my arm awkwardly holding Abel in his car seat and made my way into the club house where I found my mom putting groceries away and everyone else drinking. "Don't you guys ever work?" I laughed catching all their attention. Jax came over kissing my cheek and took Abel. 

"Why do you have both kids?" Jax asked. 

"Anita is sick and Tara had to go to work so when I went by the house we talked and I told her I would take him so she could get to work". Jax's face screamed scared as he heard that Tara and I were in the same room together unsupervised. "Don't worry, she's alive".