Bullet in a Bonfire

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Baby, hand Harper to me", Happy spoke after 30 minutes of me clutching her to my chest crying into his arms. 

"She can't leave my safety. I have to keep her safe".

"Not alone. You don't have to do any of this alone anymore. Just give her to me".

"No. No. I do have to do this alone. I've always done it on my own".

"Ana she's asleep. Hand her to me so I can lay her down and we can get you cleaned up. Your moms going to be here in an hour and shes expecting food".

"Can you lay her in her swing so I can still see her?" I finally sniffled in compliance.

"Of course" he kissed my head carefully taking her from my arms and setting her in my eyesight where I sat holding my knees to my chest not removing my eyes from my precious, innocent, and sweet baby girl. Who I brought back to this cruel and evil town. I am failing this baby as her mother. Happy sat next to me pulling me into his side.

"I'm an awful mother".

"I've told you this before and I will tell you this every day for the rest of our lives if I need to. You are an amazing mother. You have always put her first and you will always put her first and I have so much love and respect for you because of that".

"I should get the food going" I stood up wiping my face.

"How can I help?"

"Just pick up around here please, make sure everything looks okay". I got to work making dinner for everyone, I wasn't completely sure how many people were coming over tonight so I made spaghetti and garlic bread, simple and feeds a ton of people easily. The bottle of whiskey Happy left sitting on the counter kept catching my eye, before I even knew what I was doing I had poured my self a shot and the familiar burning slowly slid down the back of my throat. Instantly my nerves started to become silent and I could think again. I had no reason to feel like I had to be secret about this single shot I've taken but I couldn't help it. I quickly hid the evidence and cleaned the kitchen just in time for the knock on my door. Happy got there to answer before me. I just stayed in the kitchen pretending to not notice anyone had arrived and started in the desert.

"Hey, Ana" Jax greeted me in the kitchen. He had Abel in his arms and Tara right behind him.

"Hey" I smiled at them.

"Ma and Clay are on their way, should be right behind us".

"Sounds great" I continue scooping the cookie dough onto the tray barely looking at them.

"Look who's up!" Happy laughed walking in with Harper.

"Just in time for family dinner". I heard the boys walk to the living room with the kids talking.

"Ana are you okay?" Tara finally asked when the boys were out of earshot. I'm sure Happy asked her to say something.

"I'm fine. It's just been a rough day."

"Ana if you need to talk to someone I can get you an appointment".

"You mean therapy. Yeah, great idea why don't I tell a shrink all about my demons. Where should I start? the childhood or the teen years? What about my epic love that turned into the worst mistake of my life? Or should I just stick to last night?" I couldn't help but laugh at all this shit that is my life.

"You can talk about whatever you need, Ana."

"No! Just no. I don't need a fucking shrink. I need to get this dinner on the table and get you all out of my house so I can move on from this day". I started getting the serving dished down so I could set the table.

"Okay, but Ana the option's always there". I thought for sure she would have gone into the living room to hide from me like the boys had but when I turned around she was right there.

"Tara, I promise you I'll be fine. Just give me some time".

"You might want to try saying that again, only next time make sure your breath doesn't smell of booze". We just finished setting the table as my mom and Clay joined us. I could feel the tension rising between Clay and Jax as everyone tried to ignore it long enough to make it through this meal.

"Did you tell your sister the amazing news?" There was a clear snarky undertone in his voice.

"What news?" I asked in between bites.

"Club had a vote today. After all the issues with the feds and the Georgie problem. The club had a vote and we think voted to partner with Luanne. The sons are equal owners of cara cara". Jax explained. I looked at Happy expecting him to say something. I have to admit I'm annoyed that I'm working for the sons but it was only a matter of time.

"I'm sure Luanne didn't take the news well".

"She didn't really have much of a choice". Clay mumbled.

"Has anyone checked in with Opie lately? I haven't seen him in a while?" I changed the subject.

"No. I wish he would just get out again but he's diving in head first and honestly scaring me". Jax and Clay were still staring each to her down.

"What do you mean get back out?" I asked confused.

"After chino Ope managed to stay out and focus on his family but we needed him back in". Happy finally spoke.

"You're telling me Opie managed to step back and focus on his family and you drug him back in? You took a man from his family and got his wife killed" by now I was standing from my chair leaning my hands on the table. "I know who pulled the trigger that killed Donna, but she was dead the moment you guys decided your fucking money was worth more then our family" I squinted my eyes towards Clay. Happy was grabbing my arm trying to sit me down and Tara was looking confused between Jax and I.

"Ana I'm not going to tell you again. Your nothing but an old lady now. Learn your place or Happy will put you in it and we won't stop him". Clay said still sitting calmly.

"I think it's time you all got out of my house". I left the table walking to my room and slamming the door.