If? You Mean When

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One night I asked

if she would be okay

if suddenly one day

one day I had to go away

she held me tight and asked me

just where I had to go

I pet her head and answered

well, dear, I don't know

I didn't leave her, no

but I asked her every night

that if I went so suddenly

if she would be alright

and every day she checked my room

to see if I was there

and there I was, laying in bed

without a single care

as time went on I think

maybe she came to see

one day I'd like to go

and she would not see me

another night, like any night I asked

if she would be okay

if suddenly one day

one day I had to go away

she began to cry

then held me tight

and said if I were to go

if I were to go, she'd be alright

I smiled and told her goodnight

and as she slept so sweet

I packed my bags

and quietly I stood out on the street

I hailed a taxi

somewhere far

never looking back I wondered

just how strong you are

as morning light

shone through the window

in the train I traveled all night

I'm sure by now you know

And 7 years passed

not once looking back there

but now I had to know

if you woke up without a care

I took that train and taxi

back to somewhere far

just because I had to know

just how strong you are

and still you live in that house

I knocked upon the door

I wondered if you loved me

if you cared anymore

And there you stood

in the doorway staring back at me

expressions change before at last

you look so very happy

there you were

fully grown

and living

on your own

I asked you that night

that if I were to die

so suddenly

if you would cry

you looked at me

with those eyes

from many lonely years

had looked so wise

"no ma'am

I wouldn't shed a tear

if so suddenly you were

to disappear"

I looked at her

my eyes so wide

I wonder when I left

if she ever cried

she held me close

and said "goodbye

just incase

you were to die"

we walked throughout the house

thinking back years ago

she's so much stronger now

this I know

that night she fell asleep

and I knew she'd be alright

I watched her lovingly

until I saw dawn's light

that morning she woke

and knocked upon my door

and there I lay, cold and blue

upon my old bedroom floor

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