My Scientific Love (PUBLISHED BOOK UNDER HOWLING WOLF'S)

MSL #16

Trauma

I was currently wiping the woman I had saved. I stared intently at her face. She was noticeably older. I wrung out the towel and placed it back in the basin. I covered her with a blanket and sat beside her.

"I'm glad I saved you. Did you know I once failed to save someone? It's haunting. It's sad because when they needed my help the most, I couldn't save them." I continued talking to myself when Simon suddenly entered my room.

"Wise!" His brows furrowed as he noticed the woman lying there. I tried to push him out, but he was too strong. I was about to punch him when he dodged, blocking each of my attacks.

"Wise! What the hell!" he shouted, but I didn't relent. I kept attacking, and he kept evading or blocking.

His expression showed clear annoyance. He just stared at me as I continued my onslaught. I knew he didn't understand what I was doing, so it was better for him to leave me alone to do this on my own.

I need to do this on my own because this is my mission, and he's not included.

"Get out of here! Leave!" He tried to hug me, but I kicked him in the groin. He winced. I took that chance to push him out of the room. I shut the door and sat back on my bed.

"This is my mission. I'll finish what I started!" I shouted, making his jaw clench.

When I looked at him, his fist was clenched as he stared at me. I ignored him.

"I thought this was our mission together?!" he yelled back.

How could this be our mission if you refuse to understand me? It's always 'no' and 'you can't' whenever I want to help. I would love to have someone with me, but you keep rejecting what I need to do.

Besides, I don't want Simon to be in danger. I'm fine handling this alone. He can't be put in harm's way because he's in the middle of his fight to save thousands of people and escape this island. I can't bear to involve him in this dangerous mission.

"I don't need any help from you! Get out, Montrearde! I can handle this on my own! Even without you all!"

I felt him go quiet. My mind calmed, but then he suddenly came through the secret passage into my room.

"No matter what you do, even if you try to do this alone... when I say this is our fight... it's our fight! You can't do it alone, Wise!"

"I can. You just have to let me do things I know I can!" I can! I'm brave. I'm strong. I'm Wise. I hate it when he always underestimates me. He thinks I'm not capable of doing things that seem too impossible for girls to do.

I believe I can do this alone. I don't need help from anyone. I managed to save this woman, and now he tells me I can't? That's ridiculous.

"Camael, please! Don't be so selfish right now! This is not your fight... this is our fight! Please, open your eyes! Stop being so selfish. Stop owning this battle! This is us versus them, not us versus us, do you get my point? I know how badly you want to save someone in danger, but think about it. What if they catch you? What if they hurt you? What if they kill you? Our plan will be destroyed just because of your reckless decisions that lead you to make foolish moves! I'm not stopping you from helping them, but Camael... can you please tell us? Or maybe you could ask for help from me or anyone else! You don't have any idea how much I worry for your safety every single time you're not in my sight! This might sound bad to you, but fuck it!" He combed his hair in frustration before looking at me with eyes almost flooded with tears.

"I just can't let those fuckers take you from me... not anyone who is close to me. Not Williana, Rylea, or anyone! You don't know how much it frustrates me knowing you're putting yourself in danger without asking for any help. The thought that every single second I can't find you makes me overthink that what if you're already dying? Caught by those robots? Slowly suffering from those scientists? It haunts me, Camael... it haunts me. I was supposed to be mad at you for not trusting me the way I trust you! Is it too hard to tell me all of what you were thinking? What you were planning? Because fuck it! We told you everything we had to, but you... you're keeping your distance from us. I can't take it! We told you our secrets, but you never told us yours. Bullshit! Every brave person has fear! Every strong person has weakness! Every wise person can be foolish!" I fell silent. I suddenly felt guilty hearing Simon's words. He was right. They tell me all their moves, but I keep my plans a secret from them.