Trixie Mattel /City Lights Ain't Got Nothing On Country Lights

No Green In Your Eyes, No Teary Goodbyes

I twiddled my thumbs awkwardly as I looked around the room. I couldn't get anymore embarrassed than what I was. I felt my forehead begin to sweat. A single droplet slid down my head as I watched everyone preparing the game in front of me. Trixie didn't look bothered, she was laughing with Adore as they set up the Twister mat. I looked over to Sharon. Her eyes now burning in to me as I kept my eye contact away from her.

"Its all set!" Adore said as she looked down at the mat that was finally assembled. She looked around the room with a proud smile.

"Are you playing Honey?" I heard Trixies voice say. I was trailed off staring down at the mat. Why out of all people did Sharon have to walk in. She had something against me and I'm still unsure of what. She thinks I cheated on Trixie when we had that row. Either that or she just doesn't like me being with Trixie or the way I am.

"Hello? Anyone in there "I heard Trixie's voice again. I shook my head.Snapping back to the real world.

"Yes. Yeah sure" I said not really knowing what question Trixie had asked. Trixie's smile brightened.

"Get in to position then" She said again. I raised myself up from my seat and went and stood next to Trixie. Her warmth against my arm as I stood closely next to her. 

"Me first!"Adore chirped. She picked up the spinner for the game and spun it quickly.

"Left hand green!" She shouted. Putting her left hand down on to the green spot of the mat.

"Your turn (Y/N)!" Adore said looking up at me through her long hair as she bent forward. I fake smiled like I was enjoying. But knowing what Sharon had just seen made me feel uneasy. Still being sweaty didn't help. Trixie's lipstick was smudged a little around her mouth but still nobody batted an eyelid. I spun the spinner this time.

"Right hand red!" Trixie shouted looking over my shoulder. I didn't hesitate. I passed Trixie the spinner and put my right hand straight on the red spot of the mat. My face was inches away from Adore.

" This is fucking so cool"She said smiling at me widely. I smiled back at her loosening up. I am here for a good time. Just go with the flow. I giggled slightly as I looked at Adore. She was so pretty this close.  

"Right leg red Katya" Trixie shouted over the muffle of voices around the room. I saw Katya's leg slide underneath me. I turned to see her face close to mine.

"Why did you have to pick that particular spot. Out of all the others on the mat" Trixie asked. I think Trixie was beginning to get a little jealous of the way Katya was to me. But I always saw the funny side of it. Katya winked at me slyly so Trixie couldn't see. I blushed a little and shook my head as I looked away. A few minutes passed and we were all becoming a tangled mess. Katya was somehow in the crab position. I was on my hands and knees over Trixie. Adore was stood over Trixie. Alaska decided to quit after her first go because her dress was getting tangled. Thorgy decided to spin the spinner. And Sharon. Of course was inches away from me. I could feel her breath against my neck as we were all in a uncomfortable position. Sharon's leg was under mine. 

"(Y/N). Your left foot blue"Thorgy shouted. It took a second to think how I was going to move my leg from where it was. I then moved my foot off the colored spot and on to the next. But doing that caused me to knock Sharon's leg and made her fall to the ground with a harsh thud. Well. Shit. If things couldn't get worse. They will now.

"What is your problem!" Sharon said from the heap she was in. She scrambled from the floor and brushed herself down madly. I stood up from my position and stared blankly at her. Like a cowering dog I looked down.

"I'm really sorry" I said apologizing as we faced off. I had nothing else to say. What was there to say to this.

"You obviously have a problem with me" Sharon snapped, crossing her arms. I was shocked. I didn't know how to answer back. All eyes glaring at me as everyone began to re position themselves off the mat.

"You have had it in for me since you met me"I muttered. I couldnt make eye contact as I stared down at her feet.

"Me? Of course I have. I don't like you. And I don't think that will ever change. Your not like us. You don't do drag. And your with a drag queen. You don't fit in. Your a city girl. Trixie is country. Your like chalk and cheese. You don't match." She snarled. She looked me up and down like I was filth and I couldn't bare to be in the same room as her. My cheeks flushed as I cringed. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. She was right. I wasn't like them. I never will be. 

"Sharon. Stop" Trixie said as she stood in between Sharon and me. Sharon nudged Trixie causing her to stumble sideways in to Alaska who managed to catch her before she fell.  Sharon edged forward and was now towering over me. I felt uncomfortable. Scared. Intimidated. Sharon pushed her chest towards me like a bird puffing it's wings. Her warmth seeping in to me. I looked up at her.

"Please Sharon."Trixie pleaded as she held on to Alaska. Sharon's lip curled as she stared in to my soul. I stared back. I didn't want to feel intimidated by her. But I did. I gulped as she inched her face close to mine. So close I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Thanks for the party Trixie. I will see you soon" She mumbled. She turned on her heels and exited the apartment. I stood frozen. Just gazing at where Sharon was originally stood. I brushed my hair behind my ear and smiled at everyone around the room.

"Goodnight guys" I said quickly and stormed off out of the living room , down the hallway and in to the bedroom. I turned the lock on the handle to lock the door behind me. Dived on to the bed and sobbed. I felt hurt. Sharon was right. I didn't belong here. I was only here because of Trixie. I couldn't make Sharon like me. I cried quietly in to Trixie's pillow. Smelling her cologne as I wept. I heard a soft knock from the door. I ignored it. I could here the girls laughing and the music still playing from the living. room. It was as if they brushed it off.

"It's me" Said a soft voice. Trixie. I cant face her right now. I ignored her call.

"Please open up" She said again. I stayed quiet as I held in my sobs. She knocked again. Please Trixie . Go away.

"I know you need your space. Don't worry Sharon wont get away with this. I'll sleep out here tonight." Trixie's muffled voice said through the door. I sat quietly and listened to her soothing voice as she spoke. There was a long pause.

"I Love You"She said, her voice cloaked by the door between us. I held the pillow to my face and cried, pushing my face in to the pillow to drown out my crying. Why did she love me. What does she see in someone like me.