my light

25-what keeps you up at night

AN: trigger warning: if depression/thoughts/abuse make you uncomfortable, skip :)

Sean

_______3:00 AM_________

I looked at the clock then flopped back onto my pillow. I hadn't slept yet. Too much had gone on. Kaycee and the dance kept me up. I was so worried. What if I let her down? What if we didn't go through? Would it hurt us? Would the judges like us? Hip-hop wasn't universal like Charity's contemporary routine, but it was an unwritten rule that WoD was a hip-hop safe haven. For real, though. Last year's winners were a hip-hop/krumping duet, Les Twins. We had a shot. I knew we did, deep down, but the top layer was brimming with worry. And add everything with Kaycee....it was a recipe for an all-nighter, which was annoying, because I needed the sleep the most. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't close my eyes and not watch over my girl, my girl who I had already failed to protect once. She had torn away from me to sleep by herself, and I didn't follow her. She was facing the wall, and while my heart ached to see her face, I knew she wasn't not wanting to be close, she just needed her space. She'd come around, and we were ok. This had to have been so hard on her. Bing. My computer went off.

I looked at Kaycee. She didn't stir, so I slowly slid my hand down to the charger and plucked it off, and whipped my computer up. I hesitated before I opened it. I knew I was going to hate what was coming, but I had to know.

Kaycee had done the drug test.

One new email from Jordan Davies, Med Tech, NBC Acts Management. I held my breath as I clicked on the file.

Hi Sean,

There's no easy way to preface this, and it requires some serious action, but you asked me to keep it confidential and not do anything, and I'm respecting your wishes, because this is truly a difficult time.

I swallowed deeply and looked over at Kaycee. You need to know, my brain urged. You need to know for her.

It appears the sample that you and Ms. Igo presented matches the one found on the security tapes, and this cup was found to be laced with Gamma hydroxybutyric acid, street name of GHB, a common date-rape drug. In addition, Ms. Rice's blood tested positive for its presence, and she displayed some of the common symtpoms, unconsciousness, loss of memory, dizziness, lack of coordination, and lack of strength or control over muscles. Mr. Penate is being dealt with privately right now, and tapes and this evidence is enough to incriminate him, but if Kaycee would like to testify at a private hearing, your guardians do not have to be alerted and neither will the media, we can assure you of that. If not, Ms. Rice will have an NBC-inside-hired rep to be present at his hearing, and he will have an inside-hire lawyer.

If Ms. Rice would like to seek counseling during her stay here as well or go on a psychological retreat with some of our nurses, please let me know and we will make this journey as easy for her as we possibly can. And if you personally would like to talk about the events that have occurred, my emails are always open or we can set up an appointment with a counselor or therapist.

All the best to you and Ms. Rice,

Jordan Davies

I hated Andres Penate more than anything, but I had to stay strong for Kaycee. We were going to battle our way through this competition, giving it all we had, and we weren't going home until our best suddenly became not enough. I wouldn't let it happen. We had both worked so hard leading up to this, and I wasn't letting him or either of us self-doubt our way into not being the best we possibly could.When you boiled down all the details, I was determined, more than anything, to not let Kaycee ask herself "Why me?" if we got eliminated. "Why did this happen to us?" Then later, "Why was it my drink?"