Bad Love °[KathNiel] ✓COMPLETE

XXVIII- Bad News in an Email

I was roaming within the facility's vicinity with a cup of coffee in my hand. Feeling the breeze, I closed my eyes.

"Good morning, Cailee."I whispered to myself.

"Good morning, doc!"

I smiled at the greeting. I don't have to look at the person greeting me. I've memorized this routine everyday.

"Good morning tay Dino."

Isa siyang Pinoy na janitor rito sa Mental Hospital. Siya ang pinupuntahan at hinahanap ko tuwing umaga para dalhan ng kape at ng mga pagkaing nadadala ko galing sa bahay.

"Naku doc. Sinasanay niyo na ako."

"Tatay, ano ba kayo? Okay lang. Bayad na bayad naman sa ngiti niyo e."Sagot kong nagpalapad pa ng ngiti nya.

"Hindi na yata dumadalaw ang mommy mo rito sa hospital?"

"Ah. May inaasikasong negosyo. Balak kasi namin tay na 'wag ng bumalik ng Pinas."Paliwanag kong tinanguhan niya.

"Alam mo, anak. Minsan, hindi solusyon ang tumakas."

Yes. I told tatay Dino everything about my life in the Philippines three years ago. Fate was on my favor when we're here in California. All my subjects were credited. I just spent one semester for OJT, like it should be in my original university. After a year, I was hired as one of the psychologists in this facility. While working part-time, I pursued medicine. Nag-aral ulit ako para lang maabala ang sarili ko, para huwag maisip ang sakit na binaon ko mula sa Pinas. But there was one time when everything heaped up—pain, depression and stress in school. I was about to jump from the rooftop of the hospital but tatay Dino saved me. Iyon lang ang unang pagkakataong umiyak ako matapos ang araw na umalis kami ni mommy. Ikinuwento ko lahat kay tatay Dino.

"Pero may mga bagay tay na dapat mo nalang kalimutan."

"Cailee, hija. Kahit ano'ng mangyari, ang pamilya ay pamilya."Pahayag niyang nagpangiwi sa'kin. "O siya, kailangan ko ng umalis baka masita na naman ako ng supervisor."

Napatango lang ako. Tss. Pamilya. In my case, it's just me and mom. Wala ng iba. Ugh. It's so ironic, right? I'm a psychologist but when it comes to them, I forget about understanding people and things. I know why exactly, it's the pain.

I hate to admit it but my heart is agreeing with Tatay Dino. While I was driving home, it's the only thing residing in my head.

"How's your day, sweetheart?"Mom asked when she saw me.

"It was okay mom. I'll get some sleep and then we'll talk later."I said. I kissed her on the cheek before getting in my room.

Nakahiga na ako sa kama pero hindi parin ako dinadalaw ng antok. Dapat sa oras na 'to, tulog na ako e. Tss. Stop reminding yourself about that pain, Cailee. It is a history now.

Napabangon ako para kunin ang laptop ko. Pagdating namin dito ni mommy, nakatanggap pa ako ng mga emails at messages sa social media account ko from them. Kay Sofia 'yong pinakamahaba do'n. Ipinaliwanag niya 'yong time na nawawala siya sa sarili niya. Dahil pala 'yon sa'kin. Pero pagkatapos no'n hindi ko na ulit binuksan ang anuman sa accounts na 'yon. Lahat ng communication forms sa social media, naka-detach ako.

Today, I found myself checking my email again. After three years. Napakaraming unread messages but I first looked for Sofia's message.

My little Bunny,

I wished I did what I believed was right when I had the chance. I wished I wasn't coward and stupid. I wouldn't have hurt you too.

Cai, I'm sorry. Sana nasabi ko man lang sa'yo 'to ng personal. Believe me, I really wanted to tell you. But everytime I tried, I can only end up crying because you are my bestfriend and the last thing I would ever want to do is to hurt you. 'Wag mong isiping kinampihan ko si Aria kaysa sa'yo kasi hindi. I will always choose you, Cailee. But you know me, like in the movies, the star would always have a stupid friend. I'm sorry for being one. I'm sorry that I always do the wrong decisions in life. But please know that I am sincerely sorry, Cai.