Young and Married

Chapter XVIII

Chapter XVIII

"He has been in a relationship with Alexa for 3 year so it is impossible for him to move on. It's only been ten months since they broke up." anito saka seryosong tumingin sa akin. "I am concern about you, and I'm not going to watch while he's giving the possibilities of him hurting you."

Hindi ako nakaimik sa sinabi niya. Ibig sabihin, nung gabing nagparty kami dito. I don't even know how to react or what to feel. Should I be calm? Should I be angry? Why? I have known Zack for only three months. That actually nothing compare to his relationship with Alexa. The only connection that Zack and I have is our babies. Kahit saan sitwasyon ako tumingin, wala akong karapatang tanungin si Zack dahil wala naman kaming kahit anong relasyon. Kasal kami, sa papel.

"If you don't believe me, go and check his drawers. If Alexa's pictures are still there, then I'm sure as hell that he's still not over her." anito bago ako talikudan.

Ilang minuto akong natulala. I can't help but feel pain in my chest. I held my stomach. Sabi nila, lahat daw ng emosyon na nararamdaman ng nanay, nararamdaman din ng anak na nasa sinapupunan niya. I am disappointed, so probably, my babies are disappointed as well.

I looked at the drawer beside our bed. I sat gently in front of the drawer. I don't have to open it to know the answer. I've been cleaning our room for weeks, I know that Alexa's picture is there. Tuwing naglilinis ako ay hindi ko mapigilang mapaisip kung bakit hindi umatras si Zack sa aming kasal kung mahal niya pa ang kanyang dating nobya? I will perfectly understand.

That was my mindset before I knew that we are going to have children. I don't want my children to grow up without their father. If Alexa will, in any way, come back to Zack, I won't give him up. Things have changed and all that I want is my children's happiness.

Lumabas ako sa silid namin upang pumunta kay Clinton. I need to know who this Alexa is. What are possible threats that she will inflict if ever? What happened? Why Zack and Alexa did broke up?

Tiningnan ko ang pinto ng kwarto ni Clinton na kailanman ay hindi ko napasok. Bawal pumasok ang kahit sino sa kwarto niya. Bawal pakialamanan ang gamit niya. Laging nakalock ang kanyang kwarto at maging ang kanyang magulang ay hindi pwedeng pumasok sa kanyang silid.

"Clinton." tawag ko dito habang kumakatok ngunit alang sumasagot.

Pinihit ko ang door knob. Bukas ito. Sumilip ako sa silid, at marahang pumasok. Iniwan kong bukas ang pinto. Ayokong may maisip na masama ang sino mang makakakita sa akin na lumabas dito mamaya kung isasara ko ang pinto.

"Clinton?" tawag ko dito. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

Luminga ako sa paligid, may kadiliman ang paligid dahil walang bukas na ilaw, ngunit ang liwanag ng lumulubog na araw mula sa bintana ay sapat upang bigyan ang paligid. Malinis ang kwarto at hindi naman mukhang napapabayaan. Matagal na hindi naglalagi si Clinton sa kanilang tahanan, ayon kay Ate Stella pero walang bakas na naiwan ito ng matagal na panahon.

Tumingin ako sa paligid at nalaglag ang panga ko sa aking nakita.

The walls of his room is full of my picture. I look at the pictures. May picture ako dito simula highschool. Merong humigihab ako. Nakahalumbaba. Tumatawa. Nagsasalita. Nakasimangot. Nakikipag-usap. Meron din natutulog ako, nagbabasa ng libro, kumakain, naglalakad pauwi.

This is impossible. How did he get this pictures?

Lumapit ako sa isang picture. It was the masquerade ball we held last year in our department. Kinuha ko ito. Ako ito, kasayaw ang lalaking hindi ko nakilala ng gabing iyon. All I remember that night is the blue eyes behind the mask. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. That mystery man never told me his name.

Mabilis na bumalik sa aking alaala ang malamig na gabi ng aming prom night. It was a normal night for me, I was not excited unlike my classmates. I get roses every day with small pieces of poems until that night but he never introduced himself to me. I was waiting for him every single day to show up and that prom night, he did. He danced with me and just like the wind, he left without me noticing.

Is it possible that it was Clinton?

Kinuha ko ang picture na kasayaw ko ang misteryosong lalaki. Pinagmasdan ko iyong mabuti. Tiningnan ko ang likod ng picture. May nakasulat doon. I have my pictures of this night too. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya nakakuha ng kopya.

07-12-13

'I'd gatecrashed this prom night for you for your first dance, and my last.'

Ibinalik ko ang picture. Kinuha ko naman ang isang picture ko nung highschool. Kagaya nang nauna kong kinuhang picture, nakasulat din sa likod nun.

03-16-13

'I was on a date to forget you, but you suddenly showed up and took my heart with you. Forever.'

Tiningnan ko ang picture. Naka-uniform ako, nakangiti habang nasisinagan ng araw ang aking mukha. Nasa pier ako nito, siguro'y para mamasyal. Ni hindi ko na matandaan ang araw na ito.

Tiningnan ko lahat ng picture sa silid na iyon. Lahat iyon may caption? Paano niya ako nakuhanan ng ganyang kadaming litrato? Bakit madami akong picture niya?

Napaatras ako dahil sa dami ng posibilidad na naglalaro sa isip ko. I looked at my pictures. May ilang nakaframe, karamihan ay nakadikit sa dingding. Sa ibabaw ng isang table ay ilang regalo. Tiningnan ko ang isang regalo at binasa ang card nakalagay sa ibabaw nito.

12-25-2016

'I want to give my Christmas gift for you but you would find if strange if man suddenly show up in front you and hand his gift, right? Happy Christmas, Paige. You look beautiful today.'

4-23-2016

'Happy Birthday, Paige! You're a year closer to legality. After your 20th birthday, I will go to you and confess my long-overdue love. You're on the right age by that time. I have talked to you father and he said that if I am willing to wait for you, he will give me his blessing. I can wait forever for you. Be happy.'

Umiling ako at marahang binitiwan ang regalo.

"Misis!" narinig ko ang boses ni Zack sa baba.

Lumingon ako at nagtapo ang mata namin ni Clinton. Seryosong-seryoso ang kanyang mukha at nakapamulsa. I looked at his eyes and I found the same eyes I looked at so many years ago.