Young and Married

Chapter LIII

Chapter LIII

I froze for when I heard him talk. I looked at him and I saw tears streaming down in his face. "What did you just called me?" I asked.

"I remember now, Paige. I remember everything now." he said. "I'm sorry, Misis. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know that I have hurt you too much. I know that I broke you. Kasi hindi ka naman susuko kung hindi ka pa pagod." he said.

Akala ko wala na akong iluluha dahil sa dami ng nailuha ko kanina habang sinusumbatan siya, ngunit ngayong naririnig ko ang kanyang paghingi ng tawad sa lahat ng sakit at hirap na aking pinagdaanan ay bumuhos muli ang aking akala kong ubos ng luha.

"I was about to beg you to stay." he smiled bitterly. "But seeing you so broke break my heart even more, Misis." muling bumuhos ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. "I don't deserve you, Misis. I don't deserve you nor your love. I'm a worthless man who lost his memories, who left his wife and his children to cheat with another woman, I came back in their lives only to break the heart of my loving wife." yumuko siya upang itago ang kanyang luha. "I understand that you're tired and you don't want to accept me anymore. Sino nga ba naman ako para hilingin ang isang tulad mo, Misis? Isa lang akong lalaki na mahal na mahal ka kapag nasa akin ang aking memorya pero sinasaktan naman kita nang sobra nang mawala lahat sa akin."

"But I'm not going to force myself into your life anymore, Misis. I just want you to know that I really love you and I'm very, very sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for not being there when Mike attacked you. You gave birth to our children, you almost died and you took care of our premature babies all by yourself. I'm really sorry. You know I will do anything to turn back time, but who can, right?" he stared at me and kneeled down. "I'm sorry for being me, Paige. I'm sorry that I was your husband. I'm sorry for being so worthless. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for cheating. I'm sorry for being not a father to our children. I'm sorry for choosing another woman over you. I'm sorry for so fucking stupid." he said while crying so hard. He is kneeling in front of me, his face is full of tears and his shoulders were shaking because of his cries.

Yumuko ako at umiyak din dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman. Akala ko masakit kapag sinabi ko ang mga narararamdaman kong sakit sa aking puso pero mas masakit palang marinig ang mga 'yon mula sa taong humihingi ng tawad habang iniisa-isang sabihin iyon sa aking harapan.

"Please, stand." pakiusap ko habang umiiyak.

Tumango si Zack sa aking utos at sumunod. He looked at me with so much pain thatI can almost hear his eyes say that he is really sorry. I saw the sincerity in his eyes. I saw how much he really mean everything that he have said. But I know that we both need to heal before settling down everything. Before reconnecting with each other. I know that we both need time to heal and the only medicine we can tend to the wounds in our hearts is distance and space from each other.

"We need time to heal, Zack. Everything is painful for us now. We will only break our hearts even more if we choose to stay this time." I said.

He nodded while tears are falling in his face.

"Can I hug you one last time?" he asked.

Tumango ako habang umiiyak. Unti-unti siyang lumakad palapit sa akin. I waited for him while crying so hard. Seeing him walking towards me made me so sad. Bakit ngayon lang siya dumating? Bakit ang tagal tagal niya bago ako muling matagpuan?

He kissed my forehead and it made me cry even more. He hold my face while kissing me in my forehead. I closed my eyes to feel him because I really miss him. He looked at me after that and finally, we hugged each other while crying in our in each other's shoulder. There is so much pain inside our hearts.

I felt his pain in his hug. I felt his longing in his hug. I felt Zack. This is the man I married three years ago. This is the man I fell in love with three years ago. This is the man who love me so much three years ago. I really, really miss him.

"I love you, Misis." he whispered.

I cried so hard upon hearing him say those words. My heart has been wanting to hear those words for so long and finally, my heart feel contented. Finally, one of its desire has been fulfilled.

"I love you too, Mister." I whispered, too. He hugged me tighter after hearing that. After a few minutes of just silently crying and hugging each other, we separated.

I looked Zack one last time and he is also staring at me like we are memorizing each other's faces. His face looks tired but I can also see that his heart is peaceful now. The pain has somehow been lifted. And I feel the same. The heavy thing in my heart is lighter.

"Good bye, Mister." I said.

"See you soon, Misis." he said.

We parted ways like that. Our confrontation that day really made everything easier. Bumalik ako sa dati kong buhay ngunit hindi sa dati naming bahay. Lumipat kami ng kambal sa bago bahay na naipundar ko. I don't think we deserve to be in that house. It's our family house and we are not a family now. Zack belongs to us but he is not there so we also have to leave.

Iyon na din ang huling beses na nakita ko si Zack. Naririnig ko naman na bumibisita ito paminsan-minsan sa bahay ng kanyang magulang upang mangamusta. Minsan ay pinupuntahan niya din ang kambal doon tuwing hinahayaan ko ang kambal na manatili sa kanilang Lolo at Lola. I think Zack deserves to be with his children. The twins also need their father.

It's been year. Naging mas abala ako sa aking trabaho at sa kambal na four years old na ngayon. Nang magbirthday sila ay nagkaroon ng salo-salo sa aming bagong tirahan. Nagcelebrate din sila kasama ang si Zack ngunit hindi ako nagpakita kay Zack dahil marami akong gawain nang araw na iyon at alam kong naiintindihan ni Zack na pareho pa kaming hindi makita ang isa't-isa.

I believe that when our hearts needs rest and when it needs to restore its ability to love and conquer, we must let it rest because loving after resting is like a broken bone that is finally healed, it is stronger the second time around.

"Ma'am Paige, someone's looking for you." ani ng aking laging seryosong secretary.

I smiled at her.

"Let him in."