Devoted S.M

•Twenty-five•

Love You Goodbye by One Direction
'Unexplainable, the love that only we could understand'

7:37am
9th August 2019

I just looked at him with the widest of eyes, not being able to find the right words to say.

Liam's eyes were like a waterfall as he stood at the end of Shawn's bed, clenching onto the frame as he looked down in shame.

He had just told me how he didn't help Shawn we he could. He told me that when Shawn asked for his help he just stood there. He's the reason Shawn's worse off then he could have ever been in the first place.

"Listen, I'm so sorry. I-" Liam cried but I had to cut him off, too shocked to even listen to him right now.

"Don't talk" I said, my words cold but my body full of emotions.

Lifting his head up from the ground Liam looked over at me, so much guilt and shame unravelling from his eyes. His cheeks were practically soaked as he tried to wipe away his tears on his sleeve.

"He needed you, and you just left him to get shot" I fumed, however my voice slow and quiet as I struggled to comprehend the idea of Shawn trying to reach out for his bestfriend's help.

"I know, and I hate myself for it" Liam screeched out, taking his hands up to his head as he pulled at his hair in frustration.

"Why? Why didn't you help him?" I asked, tears falling my eyes as I let go of Shawn's hand and stood up.

"Why didn't you help him when you know for sure that if it was you in his position he would have been the first one at your side?"

Liam just cried out as he pulled harshly down on his hair, holding his eyes shut together as he tried to find an answer.

"I don't know, I was just so mad at him and-" Liam said as he opened his eyes to look at me.

"And what? You had a minor argument so you decided that your ego was more important then my boyfriend's life? Your bestfriend's life?" I felt something in me snap as every detail of last night's events finally sunk in.

"I know and I'm an absolute idiot for what I did but I was scared Eloise! I was in shock!" Liam tried to defend himself but the damage was already too far gone for anything to be repared.

"And how do you think Shawn felt? He was in pain, and he needed you. He depended on you and you just stood there like a coward" I screamed and as I did I watched as something shifted in Liam's face.

"I'm not a coward" Liam shook head as he wiped vigorously at his wet cheeks.

"Yes you are" I said bitterly.

"Whatever happens to Shawn from here on out is on you. I hope the guilt eats you up inside before the hate Shawn will have for you does" I looked Liam up and down in disgust before storming pass him and straight out of the hospital room.

-/

8:14am

I had just finished getting off the phone with my brother where he had told me the news of a few guests having been killed in the shooting, two of them being Shawn's work colleagues and another being the barman.

Elliott had told me the news of the shooting was being broadcasted all over the tv and on a series of radio shows. He said that the police had leads on what was two gunman, having already caught one of them while on the run.

With all for this insanity erupting around me all I could focus on right now was the guy laying infront of me.

Shawn was still fast asleep, no movement in him as I remained to hold his hand.