Devoted S.M

•Thirty-two•

10:01am
10th August 2019

I had just finished getting myself ready so I could go back to the hospital to see Shawn. His surgery was a success, and the doctors said that the reason for him being in so much pain was due to the internal bleeding in his stomach from the bullet wound.

I wanted to stay with Shawn until he woke up from his anaesthetic, but after having not woken up for at least two hours after his surgery I listened to the doctors and went home.

After a draining day yesterday I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow. Shawn's family were already at the hospital and had rung me this morning saying he was awake and happy, yet quite tired.

Placing lids on both mine and Shawn's travel mugs I then swung my hand bag over my shoulder before balancing the two drinks on top of each other so I could hold them in one hand. Picking them up I then took my phone and keys off the side before walking towards the front door  and setting off to the hospital.

Eventually arriving at the hospital I made my way towards Shawn's room before pushing the door open to immediately hear the sound of Shawn's precious laugh.

"That's cheating!" Shawn exclaimed, laughing at his sister as she sat on the side of his bed, the two of them playing some sort of board game.

"No, it's called being smart" Aaliyah smirked as Shawn playfully rolled his eyes at her.

"Morning, Eloise" Manny greeted as he stood up from his chair before walking over to me and engulfing me in a hug.

In the midst of hugging Manny he whispered something into my ear.

"Shawn told me that you two kissed" he said.

I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment as we parted from the hug, Manny raising his eyebrows at me in obvious shock to that fact.

"He asked me to kiss him" I whispered, not wanting anyone to hear.

"I know, that part shocked me too" Manny chuckled causing me to also let out a small laugh.

"You're not the only one" I sighed before going over to say hi to Karen.

Once doing that I walked over to Shawn before placing our coffees on the table beside him. As I did Shawn's eyes took away from the game he was playing with Aaliyah before settling on me and what I was doing.

"You look like you've slept well" Shawn gave me a genuine smile before flicking his eyes quickly back to the game to move his counter, then looking back at me.

"Like a log" I returned the smile before taking the lid off his drink and placing a straw inside it.

"How about you?" I asked, holding the drink in front of him so he could drink from the straw.

"Okay I guess, I don't really feel like I'm in much pain anymore to be honest" Shawn answered before taking small sips of coffee.

We remained in a comfortable silence as Shawn continued to drink now and again as he carried on playing his game with Aaliyah.

I couldn't help but watch with a smile as now and again the pair of them erupted into laughter or would fire insulting jokes at each other.

The way they act with each other is exactly the same as mine and my brother's relationship.

"You wanna play Eloise?" Aaliyah asked as she shook the dice in her hand.

"No thanks sweetie" I smiled at her.

Eventually, after another five minutes or so they had finished playing their game. As Aaliyah jumped down from the bed and cleaned up the game Shawn turned his attention onto me while I remained standing their in my own little world.

"Do you wanna go outside?" Shawn asked as he scratched his arm.

"I don't think that's the best idea Shawn, you haven't left this bed since you got here" I sighed as I placed my hand on his lower arm, softly moving my hand up and down.

"Exactly why we should go outside. I'm sick of these plain walls" Shawn whined causing me to crack a small smile as he sunk his head back into the pillow like a child.

"Fine, let me just go talk to one of the nurses" I playfully rolled my eyes as Shawn gradually smiled up at me like a dork.

After having talked to one of the nurses I had returned to Shawn's hospital room with a wheel chair. A few nurses had come along with me to help get Shawn safely out of bed and into the chair.

"I'm so sorry for all this hassle" Shawn sighed emphatically as a two nurses carefully moved Shawn around on the bed so his legs were dangling off.

"No need to apologise, just doing our job" one of the nurses smiled as I stood behind the wheelchair, sadly watching Shawn helplessly sitting there.

Shawn was far too weak in the legs to even move, let alone stand or walk. I knew that hated having no control and not being able to help himself. He was always very independent and didn't particularly like being waited on.

Shawn couldn't even go to the toilet. He was wired up to some drip which would do all that for him. For him that was embarrassing and to some extent, I think, was slowly ripping away his dignity.

Even with all this Shawn still had this positive aura around me. He was all smiles and jokes, just trying to make everyone else happy while we all coped with this horrible situation.

I know he's just putting a brave face on for the rest of us, when in reality he's suffering the most.

"Elle, you okay?" Shawn bought me back from my thoughts as I looked up from the floor so my eyes were on him.

"I'm fine" I gave him a tight smile, as I felt a small tear escape down my cheek.

"Elle?" Shawn's face grew into concern as I wiped my few tears away with the end of my sleeve.

"I told you, I'm fine" I repeated again before turning around and walking towards the window so I could calm myself down a little bit.

It is so hard to watch someone you love struggle and suffer, especially when it's because of something you never expected to happen.

I remained standing there for a couple more minutes until I managed to temporarily bury these feelings somewhere deep inside of me.

I eventually turned around to see Shawn now sitting in the wheel chair, now turned around so he was facing my direction.

"Everything okay?" Shawn asked, genuinely concerned.

I gave him a small nod as I put on the most care free smile I could. Shawn gave me an unsure look but settled on saying nothing.

Right now, all I wanted to do was take him outside and enjoy the time he wanted to spend with me.

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I struggled a little with this chapter but I just wanted to get it out so I could get onto the new chapter which is going to contain a heartfelt conversation between Shawn and Elle. Look forward to it because I'm hoping it's going to be a crier

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