Devoted S.M

•Fourty-eight•

Eloise
-x-

8:32pm
17th September 2019

"Is there something you wanna tell me?"

As soon as Shawn said that I felt my heart drop. I could tell just by his face how confused, angry and hurt he was.

I didn't know what to say as I stood there staring at the scan he was holding in his hand.

"Well?" Shawn snapped before sharply standing up.

"I was gonna tell you, I just-" I tried to get out but Shawn barely even let me talk.

"How long have you known?" Shawn said, his jaw locked tightly as his whole face burned red.

"About five weeks" I sighed, trying to count up how long ago I took the pregnancy test.

"Five weeks?" Shawn said in disbelief, his eyes widening even more.

"You've known you were pregnant this whole time while I've been living in the same house as you, laying in the same bed as you!"

"I wanted to tell you more than anything Shawn, I just didn't want to worry you" I tried to explain, feeling everything in me break as I stared at the look on his face.

"That's a fucking lame excuse Eloise. Is the baby even mine?" Shawn fumed, causing me to screw my eyebrows up at him at how he could even ask that.

"Ofcourse the baby's yours!" I shouted in disbelief.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. How do you think it's okay to keep that from someone, especially me, the father?" Shawn gritted his teeth as I timidly stood there with glossy eyes, never having seen him this angry before.

"Like I said, I didn't want to worry you" I insisted, feeling my voice crack as small tears began to fall down my cheeks.

"That's not fucking good enough Eloise!" Shawn shouted, his beady eyes burning into me with heart ache.

"You've kept my baby a secret from me this whole entire time. I didn't even get to go with you to your first scan, who did you even take?" Shawn's voice screeched, so much pain in it.

"Liam" I mumbled as I looked down to the floor.

"What?" Shawn gasped.

"So Liam knew before me? Liam saw my baby before me?"

"Shawn, I'm so sorry, I-" I pleaded.

"This is so messed up Eloise! Do you understand how much this fucking hurts?" Shawn shouted, stepping forward as he pointed harshly at his chest.

"I know, and I'm sorry" I cried, walking forward so I could touch him but Shawn instantly pulled away and walked over to otherside of the room.

"No you're not. If you were sorry you would never have thought that it'd be okay for you to put me through this" Shawn said, his words stinging more than anyone could ever know.

"When did you even plan on telling me?" Shawn asked, his words so loud and infuriated.

"I don't know, whenever the time was right" I said, throwing my arms in the air.

"Bullcrap! You were never gonna tell me were you? Not until the day you woke up with a massive bump and had to explain yourself?" Shawn patronised.

"So why did you tell Liam, hey? Why did he agree to keep this from me because that's also a fucking big shock to me?" Shawn angered as I tried to wipe my tears away, but failing as they continued to fall.

"It doesn't matter" I shook my head, looking away as I didn't want to tell him what Liam had done.

It would only hurt him even more.

"No, it matters alot. I deserve to know Eloise" Shawn fumed.

Giving in I just decided to tell him the truth, knowing my lies and secrets were going to get me no where.

"On the night of your accident-" I sighed, trying to find the words.

Shawn just intensely watched me with wide eyes and he waited for me to explain, him still clutching onto the baby scan.

"Liam could have stopped the gunman from shooting you in the head. You asked for his help but he just stood there"

Once I said that Shawn's face instantly dropped before he stumbled back a little in shock.

"You're kidding?" Shawn's voice broke as his face went from a shade of red to a pale white.

"I wish I was" I shook my head as another load of tears began falling.

"He could of stopped me from losing my memory" Shawn all of a sudden began sobbing uncontrollably.

His hands went up to his head as he crouched down to the floor in frustration.

"I'm so sorry" I cried.

"Stop apologising" Shawn mumbled through the tears before lifting his head up and narrowing his eyes at me.

"You're just as bad as him. You've allowed him to be in the same room as me. You've let me laugh with him, clueless to the fact that he's the reason I can't remember anything"

"If I could turn back time, I would" I said in desperation.

"But you can't!" Shawn snapped before standing up.

"The two of you have fucking torn my life apart!"

"No I didn't! This is not my fault!" I screamed, just wanting him to listen to me.

"Yes it is Eloise!" Shawn shouted back.

"You've lied to me over and over again. You say it's to protect but you've done more damage now then the fucking brain loss has" Shawn harshly said.

"How could you even say that?" I rose my voice.

"You wanna play that game?" Shawn gritted his teeth.

"I'm not the bad guy here"

"What do you want me to do Shawn? What do you expect me to say?" I pleaded.

"I want you to get out" Shawn said lowly as I frowned at him.

"What?" I said in shock.

"Just fucking leave Eloise, I don't wanna see you!" Shawn snapped, his eyes telling me that he meant every word.

I didn't even argue. I could see how angry he was and I didn't want to make an even bigger mess then it already was.

Storming pass Shawn I jogged down the stairs before going straight for the front door. Getting into Shawn's car I felt the tears begin to sting my eyes as they fell heavily down my cheeks. Leaning my head on the steering wheel I gripped onto it tightly as I just allowed of my cries to escape my lips.

After a few minutes I lifted my head up and wiped my tears away with my my sleeves so I could see while driving. Looking out the front window I looked up towards my bedroom to see Shawn watching me from behind the curtains. As soon as he saw me looking back at him he immediately turned away.

Starting up the car I pulled onto the road, feeling the my heart break more and more as I drove further away from Shawn.

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My heart broke writing this...
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