Devoted S.M

•Fifty-one•

Eloise
-x-

11:23am
18th September 2019

"I think so" Shawn gently smiled at me before looking away at the wall.

"Shawn?" I softly asked, gaining back his full attention.

Shawn hummed in response for me to go ahead.

"What happens now? Where does this leave us?" I hesitantly asked, beyond worried at how he could possibly respond.

Shawn just let out a loud sigh before leaning forward over his knees, his chin resting on the top of his joined fists.

"I don't know, I really have no clue" Shawn lowly replied, looking back to give me a sad look.

"Do you want to keep working on us?" I swallowed the dryness away from my throat before pulling my legs under me.

"I want to but-" Shawn breathed out heavily before sitting back up straight and turning his body to face me.

"It's just, I still feel so hurt and I don't know how I'm suppose to go on as if eveything's okay"

"I understand" I meekly nodded, not wanting to hear that but understanding every word he said.

"Right now, I think the best thing for the both of us is to spend some time living apart" Shawn replied, instantly making my eyes widen as I stared up at him.

Shawn's eyes turned to guilt as he noticed my expression change.

"I know it's not what you want, but what we both need is to work on ourselves before we can work on our relationship"

"What about our baby?" I felt my voice cracked as I looked down at my stomach, my baggy jumper hiding the bump.

"We're still gonna see eachother Elle" Shawn sighed as he took ahold of my hand.

"And no matter what happens I want to be involved in our baby's life"

Looking down at our hands Shawn intertwined our fingers before gently soothing his thumb over the tops of my knuckles.

"I'm going to move back in with my mum for a few weeks" Shawn explained as small tears formed in my eyes.

"You don't have to go Shawn, I'll go" I sighed as I helplessly let the tears fall down my cheeks.

"No Elle, you can have the house. I need to make sure you and our baby are safe" Shawn sweetly replied before taking his free hand and softly wiping away my tears.

"I don't want you to go" my voice broke as I closed my eyes to try and stop any more tears from falling.

"I know you don't, but trust me when I say it's for the best" Shawn's voice was so delicate as he held one hand on the side of my face before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.

Shawn
-x-

4:19pm

I had packed up all my clothes and left. I was now sat in my old bedroom at my parents' house, scanning my eyes around how different the whole room looked.

Before college my room was so messy and full of sports posters and awards, whereas now the room was washed out white like I had never even been here.

Now I was sat here alone in my room, completely lost on what to do with myself. After the accident, all I knew was Elle and being with her every second of every hour of the day.