Draco: Uncle Severus, did you get me something for my birthday?
Snape, digging through his bag: Oh, uhh yeah um, this- aw fuck- u-Aha! Here's this essay Potter gave me last minute! *hands the parchment over*
Draco: ...
Snape, completely bullshitting:...do you like it?
Draco: I LOVE IT!
Snape: you do?...
Draco: Of course! see, if you look closely you can see a wet mark and it's wrinkled, he probably fell asleep in exhaustion.
Snape, pointing to the corner: Ye-Yeah! And there's hair there which he probably ripped out in frustration.
Draco, hugging Severus: Oh thank you so much, Uncle Severus! *skips away*
Snape, to himself: This is why I'm the head of Slytherin.
