love within distance

chapter 16: a trip back...to confess ?

*one month after the move*

its been a month since we've moved and nick has not left my mind no matter what I do I think of him and I have tried so hard not to because I know its not healthy to think of someone so much...to miss someone that bad, its not healthy nor do I think its normal but he just won't leave my mind. so today I'm going back, I'm taking a trip back to see Allie and her family and while I'm there I'm going to go see nick as well to confess, finally tell him how I feel cus its obvious I still love him and I honestly think I always will...no matter what happens he'll always have a place in my heart but right now at this moment he has my heart .....and I don't want it back.

*Allie's house*

"finally... your back !" Allie's mom says greeting me at the door.

I can't help but to laugh a bit at her reaction "yes I'm back miss hall...did you miss me?" I ask her teasingly. miss hall has become like a second mom to me she's really brought me in and has helped my mom, sister and I out a lot. she's an amazing women "oh Kristy what kinda silly question is that....of course I missed you, you've became a part of this family a year ago...like a daughter to me...yes that's it, my adopted daughter" she tells me. we both start laughing. yep I've missed being here. "hey no little rugrats?...where are the kiddos at?" I question talking about Allie's little brother and sister. "oh they are at grandmas house for the weekend" she informs me. oh well that explains it "kid free...nice !" I tell her giggling a bit "whoop whoop you know it." she replies back...okay now I'm laughing !!! only Allie's mom I swear....gotta love her ! "oh miss hall you're too much" I tell her still laughing a bit. "yes yes I know too much to handle... Allie is in her room dear just go on in" she informs me "okay cool thanks!" I tell her before disappearing off to Allie's room. "I'm back !!!!!!" I yell excitedly "omg Kristen you're finally here !!" Allie says before she jumps up off her bed to run and give me. "I've missed you!" we both say at the same time. we look at each other and start to laugh.

*a few hours later*

"hey Kristen" Allie says in all seriousness getting my attention.

"yeah?" I say hesitantly. I'm confused ?....what's up we we're just having a good time...what happened? "I need to tell you something" she says to me. "okay...what is it?" I ask nervously "well I know you were wanting to go see nick today while you were here and well I thought I should let you know.." she pauses. oh god what happened ?! is he okay... I start to panic "oh my god what...what is it?!" I say impatiently. "well him and jasmine are kinda going out now" she tells me sadly. relief and hurt rush over me I'm relieved he's alright but I'm hurt...its only been a month since I've left...how could he have moved on so fast ?! "oh.." I reply. not knowing what to say and not really able to speak. "I'm so sorry Kristen but I had to tell you before you went and seen him I didn't want you to have false hope." she tells me. she's such a good friend I'm so glad she told me cus it probably would have felt even worse hearing it from him. "thank you Allie... you're a good friend" I reassure her. "so when are you gonna go and see him..you only have another hour before you leave" she informs me. do I want to see nick now, I mean could I face him now knowing this ? I think it'll hurt more to see him now knowing he moved on or to see them together yeah that would kill me on the spot...and besides if he's happy with jasmine I don't want to get in the way of that....of them "I don't think I'm gonna see him, he's happy and has a good thing going with Jasmine I don't want to ruin that and make him have to choose between me or her. he has moved on maybe its my turn Now" I tell Allie. getting a bit choked up and teary eyed trying my hardest not to cry....damn this sucks!! "you're probably right." reassures me. "you'll be okay Kristen, I'm so proud of you. I know this must be hard" she tells me before coming over to hug me. I know I'll be fine...in time but now its time for me to move on....