The Darkest Moon Star [JDDS SERIES #3] (COMPLETED)

Chapter 1

"This is all your fault!"

"They are dead because of you! It's all because of you!"

"This is all your fault!"

"Your fault!"

"You're nothing!"

"Nothing!"

Too many voices in my head. Nabibingi ako. Nilalamon ako ng dilim. Nakabukas ang mga ilaw pero wala akong maisip kundi kadiliman. Wala akong marinig. Wala akong maramdaman.

Lumipad ang paningin ko sa kutsilyo 'kong naroroon. Kusang lumakad ang ang sarili patungo roon.

Hinawakan ko ito.

Hinawakan nang mahigpit.

Tumitig.

Tumingin.

I didn't know I'm already cutting my wrist.

"Dawn! Stop it!" It was Jaxine's voice. Napalingon ako sa kaniya.

Blood is now all over my cloth. The stain of it made me satisfied. I don't know why.

"Did you fucking drink your medicines?!" Galit na galit niyang tanong.

Umiling ako. Anti-depressants fucks. Anxiety fucks. Depression fucks. They all fuck me in one click.

"Argh, Dawn!" She shouted. Agad niya namang kinuha ang first aid kit at ginamot ang sugat ko.

Why the hell she's like this? It's not the first time I harm myself.

--

I WOKE up. Naramdaman ko kung gaano pa rin kabigat ang nararamdaman ko. It's like I'm carrying the whole world.

Alright, Dawn. We have to smile again to pretend.

I got up and I looked at my huge mirror right here in my closet.

I look like a shit.

Ang laki ng eyebags ko. Namamaga ang mata ko. Namumutla ang buong muhka ko at nagdadry ang labi ko.

I really look like a shit.

I sighed. "Start a day with a fake smile, Dawn.." I told myself.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto. Kasama ko sa condo yung mga siraulo kong kabanda. Maybe they're still asleep. Or maybe... dead.

Just kidding.

"You woke up early, Trez." I noticed Trez and faked him a smile. Hindi lang ako makapaniwala na maaga siyang nagising dahil hindi naman talaga siya nagigising ng maaga.

"I didn't sleep." He answered coldly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Kararating ko lang kanina mula U.K.. Doz got shot."

"Oh," natahimik ako.

"Ikaw." Humarap siya sa akin at nagtaka ako. "You look like a shit. Fix yourself."

I sighed. "What for?"

"Tss, we have a gig, you ass!" He said. Kumuha siya ng pinggan para sa aming dalawa. "I saw Flint."

"Oh? What's with him?" Tumawa ako nang peke. Me, preferring to ex-bandmate.

"He still looks like a shit." Simple ang sagot niya pero alam ko ang nilalaman niyon.