I mope a lot
I complain about the stupid little things way too much
I annoy everyone around me with problems no one cares about
I have my reasons though
I do this because it means they won't ask why I'm sad
They won't think it's something else
They will think my biggest problem is that the girl I like is straight so I can't have her
They won't think that its something more
They won't expect me to try to explain how I cry so often and have so many breakdowns about my sexuality and how I can't come out to my family.
I won't need to explain the crushing feeling in my heart because I was born into a religion that hates me.
I brush all of that off then complain too much about how she's straight
It's easier
It means I don't have to explain why I can't sleep but I sleep too much.
I dont want to explain why I have spent 4 hours laying on my bed, staring at only the ceiling, trying to make myself move to wash my face.
Why I have spent hours upon hours crying because...
I don't know
I do it to myself too
I tell myself it's one thing but I know that it is something deeper and darker inside of me that I can't figure out.
There is something wrong with me
I am broken
But I can't find the broken piece to fix
I'm sorry if I annoy you with my little problems
I'm just not ready or unable to face the real ones
So if you're wondering
My eyes are not red because of tears
It's because I stayed up too late last night
Thinking about how she's straight
...
Or something along those lines
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
