We're on the phone and you say the words aloud as you type the "funny" comment on my second most recent picture on instagram
You ask if you can post it
I tell you not to
You laugh and say "I can delete it right after"
You don't hear my voice waver when I say "please don't"
We're on the phone so you can't see my afraid face, or shaking hands, or silent tears and your laughter makes you oblivious to how my voice sounds as I weakly plead
You post the comment
And because of my phone's restrictions set by my parents I have to hope you deleted it properly
I have to hope no one in my family sees your comment calling me sexy, beautiful, big bootied, and so forth
I have to hope you fixed it because I don't want to think about what would happen if my family saw
And you
You don't think about what will happen
You think "it'll be fiiinnneeee"
You don't understand
You don't
You always tell me to ask to go to hangouts with the group even though I tell you I could get lectured and in trouble for even asking
You don't understand how I have to live
You don't understand a lot about me
Our opposite lives are the reason you gave me when you ended it
I wish you meant it
I wish there weren't other reasons
I wish you didn't say all of that bullshit while with her
I wish the reason was what you said and not the other girl
I guess it all worked out
We were not good
But I do still wish you had remained loyal
And I do wish she weren't there the day you ended it
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
