I'm terrified of tomorrow
Maybe that's why I'm still awake
I'm too scared to wake up
So I won't fall asleep
The petty shit only makes the real fears worse
I'm out of apologies but still need to apologize to everyone
I'm out of fight but the war isn't any closer to ending
I need to fight to stay
I need to fight to go to school
I don't know what to do
And I'm out of people to talk to
Because everyone is gone
Because of me
Again
Shit
It's happening again
My heart races
My stomach drops
Shit
The abandonment issues that I've buried come up
The fears I told myself are stupid to have are coming true
It's all my fault again
I'm doing this shit again
I'm going to be alone again
Again
Shit
No
Shit
Why do I keep doing this
Why must I push everyone away
Why must I wreck everything
Shit
I need to sleep
But I'm still awake
I'm always awake
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
