I tried
I tried so hard to not do it
I tried bargaining with myself
I told myself I couldn't because I'm going with my family somewhere warmer for winter break
I would swim
In a bathing suit
They would notice them if they were new
I told myself I had to wait
I fought off so many urges
But
I failed
Again
I kept telling myself no
I picked up the blade
Put it down
Picked it up
Touched my skin
Put it away
Got it again
Put it down
Answered my friend
Waited
Paced
Picked it up
Then told myself
I'll only do one
One little one
Only two
Two littles ones
Two little deep ones
I failed
I did it again
Added two more to my collection
The others were finally almost healed
And I did this
I'm leaving in a week
Fuck
Why
I failed
I'm sorry
I failed
I'm sorry
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
