I used to avoid sleep at all costs
I would stay up as late as I could
I only fell asleep when my body gave out from exhaustion
At the time I was only 10
I wasn't able to stay up past 4 or 5 am
I did this for a year
After that year my body crashed
Begged for sleep all day everyday
During the year
Pains in my body and head were so common
Sickness to the stomach was almost constant
But I still refused to sleep
Refused to lie in my bed
In the dark
Stuck with my mind racing
My thoughts on the loose
I was too young to handle the screaming inside
The way my mind told me to die
It wasn't sleep that scared me
It was my own damn thoughts
The ones I couldn't control
The ones that scared me
I didn't have a way to express or release my fear and hatred and sadness
Then I found a blade
And after
I found rest
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
