Despair
The complete lack of hope
If that doesn't describe me I don't know what does
I have no hope for me
Or my future
Or the people on this earth
Or the earth itself
We're all doomed
Sorry
When I apologize
I don't know who I'm saying it to
Sometimes it's my parents
Or my friends
Even though they don't hear it
Sometimes it's the reader
Sometimes it's the earth
Sometimes it's me
Or who I could be
Or could have been
Sometimes it's to the little girl who smiled a lot
Sometimes it's to the grown up me that I don't know if I'll see
I'm sorry to the possibilities I killed
And to the suicide attempts
And the ones that failed
And the ones that may come
To the people I've run away from
I'm sorry to my happy place
Because it's the roof that's up high
If I fell from it I would probably die
And I can't be on it without thinking of the fall
Is it bad I'm not scared
Not at all
I'm sorry that I can't be happy
Not for longer than a moment at least
I always fall back into despair
I always wish I could stop breathing this air
I'm sorry
And this poem is what I mean when I apologize
You can't tell unless you look into my eyes so don't worry for not noticing
Because I hide
I'm sorry
And now you know what that means
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
