I'm drinking again
Right now
And I dont care
Honestly a part of me wants to die tonight
Tomorrow me and my parents are going to my therapist and shes going to read them 3 things I have written
I will tell them the truth
I am drinking because I cannot sleep tonight knowing what is happening tomorrow if I dont drink
And you know what?
A part of me hopes I die
Hope's my last moment remembered is me kissing my dog thinking about how much I love my family
I know they will never know this is my last moment
I know this will hurt so many people
I know I cannot do this
I won't purposely die tonight
But I cannot lie and say no part of me hopes I do
The keyboard on my phone is blurry and my glass is empty
The vodka bottle in my closet still has enough
I know I cannot finish it
I know this is not the end
But I am not ready for tomorrow
I am not ready
I didnt hug my mom enough
I didn't tell my brothers I loved them enough
I didnt love enough
I'm sorry to my family
I dont want to leave them
But I cant live the life they want me to
Honestly I dont know if any of this makes sense
But as I chug more beer and vodka, all I can do is cry
The words you are currently reading might be completely scattered and messy
But that is my honest brain
It doesn't make sense
It just hurts
Screams
And no one can decipher it
Not even me
YOU ARE READING
Blood Stains
Poetry*trigger warning* I'm lost•I'm broken•I'm hurt•I'm sorry ~the ones marked "x" are about my struggle with food and eating~
