Good Intentions

Ch4.5: Can't & Won't

Mini Chapter -Sean POV after his conversation with Sang

Owen closed the door behind him after watching Sang leave the office. I was frozen in the chair. I can't believe what just happened. How could we have missed this? How did I miss this? This was so much worse then even Owen had imagined. He was right, she doesn't trust us, and it was all our fault. I dropped my head into my hands, barely holding back my tears. She was so angry, and she had every reason to be. I was just shy of hyperventalating. How? How were we going to fix this much damage?

"Sean?" Owen said softly from directly in front of me. How did he get there? I lifted my head up as he lowered to his knees in front of me. He must have seen the devastation in my eyes. "Sean? What happened?" I opened my mouth to tell him, to explain everything so that he could come up with a plan. But then I remembered I couldn't and I lost my breathe.

"I...I..." what could I say? "I can't tell you." I finally said dropping my head in defeat. Owen put his hand on my knee and squeezed.

"What do you mean? What can't you tell me?" He asked calmly. He had his signature blank face on. He was in complete control, showing now emotion, ready to problem solve. And it pissed me off.

"I can't tell you what happened. She made me promise, as her doctor." I snapped back. He barely flinched at my tone. No one else would have noticed it. He was part of the problem. He always had to be so controlled. So closed off. Why couldn't he just show a little bit of his emotion to the girl he loved. If he could just show her how truly caring and kind hearted he was deep down.

"Whatever it is Sean, we can deal with it, we can fix it. Just tell me." He said, trying to be soothing. Had he not heard what I said?

"Did you not just hear me? I. Can. Not. Tell. You." I sneered through my teeth. I was starting to get really angry. This was not my fault. I barely got to spend any time with her. If I wasn't treating her for something or teaching her Japanese, we didn't get any time together. I was not the one making her feel this way. She made that comment about the giggling but I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to keep it even and show that it was not an individual problem. But she knows that I am teasing her. Doesn't she? Maybe she didn't. Shit. What were those stupid boys doing when they spent time together? No. I was not losing her because they were all controlling idiots. I refused. I rose to my feet, causing Owen to do the same and back away from me. He adjusted his glasses and then smoothed down the front of his suit. "Sean..."

"No, Owen. Be quiet and listen. We really messed this up." I took a deep breathe. "We have been messing this up from the very beginning." I saw Owen's attention shift to his pocket for a split second. I noticed that his phone was vibrating non stop. He quickly returned his attention to me, clearly confused, and finally showing a little bit of emotion. Fear. " I can't tell you what she said, which is going to make fixing this with the group that much harder...but what I can tell you is that we all have to open our goddamn eyes and pay attention because we are gonna lose her Owen. She is so close to walking away.."I trailed off on a whisper.

"I don't understand Sean. Just last night you were so sure that she loved us and this would be easy." He said sounding completely lost.

"She does love us. She does. But she has no idea how we feel about her. And if we don't start showing her in a real way,in a truly real romantic way, she is going to walk away. I can't tell any of you what she told me today, but I am going to start making and enforcing changes. We need to start telling her more. We can't keep shutting her out to protect her.  And I swear to god Owen, you better listen to me and back me up, because I will not lose her. I will not. Do you understand?" I spoke so quickly I don't even know if he heard everything I said. I was frantic.

He lifted his hands up in a playcating manner, "Okay Sean. Okay. I will follow your lead as much as I can. But I have to ask. Why did she single you out for this?"

I stared at him for a moment thinking about that. Was it because she trusted me the most? Because she felt the most comfortable with me? Was it to punish the others? To punish me? "I don't know her reasons, but if I had to guess? Because I'm the only one she could force into silence as her doctor." I said, more defeated than I have ever felt before.

"I'm sure there is more to it than that." He said quietly, grabbing my shoulder in comfort.

"I hope so. I really hope so."

*** I know that this is a really short chapter but I felt that the previous chapter needed to end where it did, and I didn't want to leave this part out. The next chapter is going to be nice and long. I HOPE to have 2-3 chapters out in the next 2-3 days :) I also plan to update my other story as well with 1-3 chapters. 

Please leave comments with your opinions and thoughts. Also, please share my story if you know others who like Ghostbird fanfic. The next chapter is where the story is really going to start drifting from the books and I am super excited to write it. 

You will notice a slight shift backwards in Sang, but don't worry... Strong Sang will prevail :)

Comment<3 I spend alot of time on my dialogue trying to make it seem realistic and true to the characters so please... share your opinions*******