Good Intentions

Ch20 Part 2: Drowning

Another short chapter but I hate to keep you waiting <3

Sang POV

We left the hospital in silence. I was so tired that I could barely think about everything that I had just learned. I was only partially aware of my surroundings, and before I knew it, we were back to Sean's car. He had held me tightly to his body the entire walk. In front of the passenger side door, I tried to straighten up and pull away, but Sean just squeezed me to him tighter. I remained stiff, not fighting him, but not relaxing into him either. It was all too much to understand, and I was uncomfortable, both physically and emotionally.

"Please don't. Please don't pull away from me Sang." His voice was soft, raw with emotion that I couldn't interpret. "I..I know..I..", he stammered, trying desperately to find the right thing to say in this situation. But, that was impossible, even for the great Dr. Sean Green. There was no right thing to say. He had hidden life altering information from me. Information that changed everything, in ways I probably didn't even understand yet. They all had. They had all looked me in the eyes and lied to me, for weeks.

It could be argued that it wasn't lying, but as far as I was concerned it was. Every time they told me everything was okay. Every time they looked at me and chose not to tell me something so important to who I am as a person. Every time they made decisions for or around me because of that knowledge, that secret, that they had no right to hide. They lied. And there was nothing that Dr. Green, or Sean, or Dr. Sean, or Dr. Sean Green could say that would fix it.

"There is nothing you can say," I whispered. I didn't say it to be mean, or to hurt him. I said it because it was the truth and because his floundering was hurting my heart. Despite everything, I could feel his struggle and it hurt me. I briefly considered that that was ridiculous. That he had gotten himself into this situation, and that he deserved to be flustered and scared and unsure. And maybe a small part of me agreed with that. But a bigger part of me couldn't stand it. A bigger part of me hated the very idea of them hurting, no matter what they had done.

I didn't understand why they made some of the decisions they made. Why they chose to hide things from me. But I did understand that they thought they were doing the right thing, even if I didn't agree. I did understand that they all cared about me, and only wanted me to be happy and safe. I knew that, deep down, they meant well. What I didn't know in this moment, was if that would be enough.

"Sang, please," he begged.

"Sean," I said softly, interrupting his pointless begging. It wasn't going to change anything, and it was too painful to listen to. He choked off, finally loosening his grip enough to look into my eyes. I met his gaze for a few seconds, letting our heartache communicate, but couldn't stand it for long. Dropping my eyes, I pulled further back, reaching to open my door and get inside.

*****

We had been driving for about five minutes when his phone started to ring. The car had been so quiet that the sound startled me, and I think it might have startled him too. With mumbled curses he pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at the screen. He looked torn about whether or not he should answer. Looking over at me, he took a deep breath and handed me his phone.

I looked at him for a second, confused as to why he was giving it to me, but when I saw who was calling I understood. Owie Poo was calling, and his perfect grey eyes were boring into me from the screen, demanding I answer. How on earth did his picture exude this much authority? It simply wasn't natural. I debated not answering. I truly did. But at the last second I panicked, answering the call and putting it on speaker. The line was silent as neither of us talked. My voice was trapped in my throat, and my mind couldn't come up with anything to say even if wasn't.