Good Intentions

Ch29: Heads Up

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Sang POV

We walked silently to Decan's car, my hand still held in his. I could feel his eyes on me, swirling with questions, and worry, and it made me want to scream. Why had that happened? Why did they all have to be there to see it?

"Sang, we're here." Decan's voice was kind, gentle even, as he slowly opened up the passenger door for me. When had we gotten to his car? Huffing out loud in annoyance, I positioned myself to get in, letting go of Decan's hand to do so. His hand slid up my arm to just above my elbow and held me in place.

"Sang, what happened back there? Are you really okay?"

Lifting my eyes to his, I could see that he was truly worried about my answer. He almost looked guilty, which I thought was the strangest thing. I didn't want him to feel bad. And why would he? He hadn't done a single thing. But what could I tell him? I couldn't tell him about my abusive step mother and how broken she made me feel sometimes. Could I? I wasn't supposed to share anything about my family with other people. Right? It wasn't safe. That's what the boys kept telling me. And Decan was Academy. Hadn't I been warned that the Academy would try to take me away if they found out I was alone? I didn't want that right? I wanted to stay here, with the boys. Didn't I? No, I couldn't say anything. But I had to say something.

"Dec, I just...I spaced out for a minute. It has been a stressful few days, and I haven't been sleeping well. I guess... I guess it just all finally caught up to me." There. And it wasn't even a lie. Not really. I tried to smile at him, and let him know that I was fine, but I am pretty sure it fell flat. His eyes studied me, for so long that I thought I would physically start to squirm. Just let it go, my eyes pleaded. After what seemed like an hour, Decan took a deep breath.

"Sang, I know you just met me a few days ago, and you barely know me. And I know how hard it is to trust in someone you barely know. But I need you to know that I am here for you, and not just as a shoulder to cry on." That made me scowl at him, which in turn made him smile. "I am literally here, for you. I came here to meet and help you. I am not here for the Academy, or for the favors, or to see my sister. I'm here because I know exactly what it is like to wake up one day and have your life completely turned up side down, and not know what to do, or say, or even think or feel." Decan's words had started coming so fast that he needed to stop and take a breath. Regaining himself, he continued. "What I am trying to say Sang, is that you can trust me. With anything. I am here to help you. You don't need to be afraid of me, or what I will do with any information you give me. Because I promise, all I will ever do is help you."

I held his stare for a moment longer, before nodding and moving to get in the car. He hesitated just a bit before releasing my arm and made his way to his door. As I tried to process what he had just said, I realized that it hadn't made me feel any better. Everything he said sounded perfect, exactly what I should have wanted to hear. But for some reason, it made me feel anxious. Side eyeing him, I tried to figure out why, when I saw his lips tick up into a smirk.

"You are thinking that was all a little too perfect, right?" He tried to hide his amusement, but was unsuccessful, which had me narrowing my eyes.

"Not exactly." I didn't say more, because I was unsure what more to say. I didn't understand why I was feeling off about him all of the sudden. But apparently, he did.

"I will always keep you informed little ghost. I wont keep you in the dark, and make decisions for you without talking to you first." He said it slowly, with a strong sincerity under every word. My breath caught in my chest as I realized that was exactly it. He had reminded me so much of Kota with that little speech. So much of that first night, when Kota tried to get me to let him in, with all his platitudes of trust. Right before he took over my whole damn life.