Good Intentions

Ch28: Demons and Blame

*Edited but probably not perfect*

Sang POV

The day had dragged on pretty slowly after lunch, and I was leaving the building to meet up with Decan, I couldn't help but continue to obsess over Kota. Watching him walk away from the group was surprisingly difficult. For the first time in days, we had been getting along, and talking through our issues. We had been laughing and joking, just like we always had. Why had he left? Was he really that disgusted with me? With the idea of all of the boys liking me? It didn't seem right, or fair for that matter. None of this was my fault. Was it?

I hadn't asked for any of this. I wasn't the one who initiated any of this. And I wasn't the one who caused this huge problem. Frowning to myself, I wondered if that was true. Was all of this somehow my fault?

Whore. Flinching slightly, I tried to shake off that thought. I wasn't a whore. I hadn't done anything wrong.

I told you not to talk to boys. I told you they only ever want one thing. But, no. That wasn't true. And even if it was, that isn't my fault. 

Of course it is you slut. Holding boys hands. Sitting on boy laps. Sleeping with them. Touching them.  What did you think would happen?Teasing them with your short little skirts. Letting them do what ever they want with you. Why do you think Mr. McCoy targeted you? He saw you for what you are that very first day. A dirty little whore.

"Sang!"  The loud voice broke through my internal demons, just enough for me to notice that I was leaning against a wall. It was biting into my back as I struggled for breath, panicking with the need for air. Strong hands landed on my shoulders, grounding me, bringing me a little closer to the surface.

"Pookie, I need you to breathe for me. Just like you did last night. Deep slow breaths." His voice was low and soothing, coaxing me to come all the way back to the present. To leave my mother and her venomous words behind, but it wasn't enough. He sounded far away, even though part of me knew he was right in front of me.

"Sean, we are in the hallway. You shouldn't be touching her like that here." Decan growled softly. He was close to me too, but not touching me. Not grounding me like Sean was. I took a deep breath, searching for that calming citrus scent. Grasping for it, hoping it would help bring me all the way back. And it was there, mixed with something new. Was that Decan? He smelled like smoke. Not cigarette smoke, or bonfire smoke. But that comforting smell that comes right after you blow out a candle.

"I don't give a shit where we are. I am a doctor, and she is having a panic attack," Sean spat out. He took a deep breath and squeezed my shoulders a little bit tighter, calming his temper. "In and out, Pumpkin. In, 1-2-3, out, 1-2-3. You can do it." He repeated himself over and over, softly whispering to me as I came back to the surface and felt my breathing even out. Finally, I opened my eyes, and took in the scene around me.

Sean was standing directly in front of me, looking down into my face. He was not inappropriately close, but closer then maybe he should be. His eyes were bright with determination but his brows were furrowed with worry. I saw his body relax as he met my eyes and realized I was back to myself. Decan was slightly behind him to his left, while Mike and Jer were to the right. Decan, Mike, and Jer were using there bodies to form a wall between us and the rest of the hallway, blocking us from the whispering students.

Taking one more deep breath, I straightened up and looked into Sean's questioning eyes. "I'm okay." He regarded me for another few seconds, before he lowered his hands and backed away a step. All four of them were watching me, waiting for something, studying my face.

"Really, I'm okay guys. Don't worry." I tried to make my voice sound confident, and strong. I am not sure it worked. Both Decan and Sean gave me incredulous looks, while Mike and Jer snorted. I rolled my eyes and was just about to assure them again that I was okay, when Karen pushed through the middle of Mike and Jer.

"Sang, you really need to stop drawing so much attention to yourself. We get it. You are adorable and everyone loves you. But do you really need to hold court in the middle of the goddamn hallway. Some of us would like to go home." She spoke a little louder then necessary, in a taunting exasperating tone, as if she just didn't know what she was going to do with me. At first, I was confused and a little hurt. Is that what she really thought? But when I saw her smirk, and saw that most of the hallway heard her. I realized she was trying to make a joke out it, so that people would move on, and take their attention off me. Or at least, off the serious situation.

Playing along, I threw my hands up in exasperation. "As if I have any control over it. Thank god, Dr. Green stepped in. Mike just refuses to accept that I do not want to marry him." I threw Karen an appreciative smile, as the boys started to chuckle. Mike reared back in mock outrage.

"Don't pretend you don't love my proposals! I will wear you down Sexy Sang. Mark my words!" He pointed at me as he began to walk backwards into the crowd. "See you later my love!" He shouted, turning away and pulling Jer along with him toward the door. Karen shot Decan and Sean a look, seeming to call them both idiots, and then waved at me before turning and walking away to follow the others.

Before I could say or do anything else, Decan swopped in and grabbed my hand. "Let's go Ghostie. We have places to be, and people to torment." Funny thing was, he was looking directly at Sean as he said it. As he dragged me down the hallway, I looked over my shoulder to see Sean staring at my hand in Decan's, looking so sad. I was getting used to the guys showing their jealousy, but that is not what this was. He looked dejected. Miserable. Just before Decan had me out of the door, his eyes lifted to mine. He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Why was he so sad?

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I am back! I am sooooooo sorry I have been gone so long. But ya know... life. And writers block.

Okay everyone! I know that was super short..... and not really that important or useful. But... it did leave a few easter eggs. Or goose eggs. Or whatever....clues. :P

This was my attempt to get back into it. I feel my writers block is finally broken. And I am ready to get back into crushing this story!!!!

So rather than agonizing and making you guys wait for a 15k word chapter... I decided to let you know I was back with just a little bit of filler to transition us forward.

I hope you are all ready do dive back into my version of Sang and her merry band of idiots... because I definitely am!

Show me some love guys<3 Comments and stars :)