Good Intentions

Ch43: A Sorry Sean-Kota-Victor

Need to wrap this up for my own sanity. Here we go.

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Sean POV

Taking a deep breath, I looked around at everyone. Tempers and emotions had been flying all over the place for last few hours, and I could see we were all exhausted. Especially Sang. She was pale as a sheet, and there was a slight tremor to her hands that had been present since this morning. Maybe even since last week. Would this stress ever end? Yes. Yes it would. I would make sure of it. We just needed to get through this family meeting. 

"Okay, who's left?" I paused for a second, waiting until I had everyone's attention. "Kota and Victor I believe?" 

"And you and I Sean." Sang added. Right. Her and I. Did I really have anything to say at this point? Nothing that needed to be brought up here. Honestly, the only thing on my mind was how I was going to beat the piss out of my best friend. Where the hell was the bastard? He hadn't answered a single goddamn text. I would need to start looking for him soon. But this first. Pookie came first. 

"Ya know what Pookster? I think you and I have talked out most of our issues." I sent her a wink letting her know we were more than okay. Her eyes twinkled at the new version of her nickname, and my heart warmed. "Kota? Victor?" 

"Are you sure Sean?" Sang asked softly. I lifted an eyebrow at her in question. "You have been carrying a lot on your shoulders. Before this week it was all the secrets from me, this week it was all of my secrets. That can't have been easy for you. Are you sure you don't need to get anything off of your chest?" Her tone was soft, concerned, and a little pleading. It was like she wanted me to purge any and all feelings that I might have right here and now. After everything that had happened, no matter how upset she was, she was still worried about us. About me. This girl was all heart. And I loved her so fucking much. Smiling, I decided to say just that. 

"The only think I need to say right now, Pumpkin, is how much I adore you." She blushed a little, and looked away from me. At first I thought it was just to avoid the intensity that must be in my eyes,  but that wasn't it. She was looking around at everyone else, trying to gauge their reactions. She was worried, and it made my stomach knot. "Pookie, it's okay. They all know." I said softly. Her blush deepened and spread to her ears and neck, as her eyes dropped to her hands. I would not follow that blush down her neck. I would not think about how far down it might go. I would not. 

"Maybe that should be what we discuss next." Victor says, speaking up for maybe the second time this entire night. His voice was calm, but his eyes were blazing. Sang's eyes shot up, wide with what looked way to much like fear for my liking. 

"I think, since we are all here, and everything is out in the open at this point, we all need to make our feelings clear. I know we are not all on the same page yet, but I think it is important we all discuss what page we are actually on." He paused for a moment, thinking something over and coming to a decision. His chin lifted and his back straightened in determination. 

"We have made more mistakes then I can count. As a family, as a team, and as individuals. But all of those mistakes have had one common factor. We haven't been trusting each other. Not one of us. We didn't trust each other enough to be open about our feelings and fears. And we didn't trust in each other to know our own hearts and minds." Victor shot a quick glare at Kota and myself, making me swallow hard. He had made it very clear the other morning, the part we played in downplaying some of their feelings in the beginning. Regret speared through me as he continued. "I know that certain situations seem like there was more to it, but when you break it down, that's all it is. We all started keeping secrets from each other because we were afraid. I don't believe for a second that no one saw any of this coming; we just aren't that stupid. I do believe that we were afraid of it, and tried to deny it. That we lacked the trust we need to get through this."