Good Intentions

CH42: A Sorry North

Hello Everyone! Here we go....

Edited*

Comment Please.

North POV

"How many times do I have to say I trust you, and that I'm staying, before you trust me back?" 

Luke was shaking his head, vibrating with anger and uncertainty. Not that Sang Baby was much better. She was shaking just as much. And though I knew most of it was because of her nerves, I could see the fire in her eyes as well. She was angry too, and she had every right to be. 

I understood Luke's anger, and his insecurities, but we had brought this on ourselves. It didn't matter that we didn't mean to hurt her, or that we intended to tell her everything in time. What matters is that she knew now, and even though she says she understands, it isn't enough. She doesn't agree with our choices. We had always assumed that when we felt the time was right, we would tell her the truth, she would understand, and everything would be okay. But based on everything she had said in the last hour, we were fools. 

Even if everything had played out the way we had planned, I don't think it would have changed this outcome. She would still be just as angry with us, because she believed we disrespected her. That we don't trust her. And though that was no where near true...it was completely fucking valid. And it gutted me, as I'm sure it was gutting all of my brothers to hear how very wrong we had been. But Luke wasn't listening. He was too scared, too lost in his own fears. He wasn't hearing what she was trying to tell him.

"Cupcake, it has nothing to do with trusting you. There are still so many things you don't know.." I winced at his words. There was no fucking way she was going to let that go.

"And who's fault is that, Luke?" She asked calmly. I swallowed, feeling fucking helpless. How had we gotten this so wrong? How had we never considered that we were hurting her more then helping her? It seemed so fucking obvious now.

"His!" Luke screamed, nodding his chin in Kota's direction, because Decan was still holding his hands in place. Shit. Decan was an elder. A ghost. I still couldn't wrap my head around that. 

"Luke, man. This isn't all on Kota. Don't put this on him." Gabe said carefully, also having stood up from the couch. Luke grunted, and was about to keep yelling when Sang cut him off. 

"No, Luke. Stop it. You are not being fair and you know it."

And incredulous look took over Luke's face as he stared at her. "Really? Then why haven't you been talking to him all week Sang?" His tone was harsh, almost biting. Sang winced slightly, shooting Kota a slightly embarrassed glance, before taking a deep steadying breath. 

"If I'm being honest, I'm not even really sure." Her cheeks heated at her admission, and Kota's eyes blew wide. "I just, I just needed a little distance is all." Her voice was quiet, unsure. She started to wring her hands together anxiously and fidget her feet. I hated seeing her this lost, fucking hated it. 

"Sang baby, we are so sorry that this happened. It never should have happened like this. We should have told you. We always planned on telling you." She needed to know that, because it was fucking true. Her eyes scrutinized my face, asking questions that I couldn't quite figure out. 

"When?" She finally asked. There was no tone of challenge, or wariness. Just open curiosity. But that didn't mean it wasn't a fucking trap, and she knew it too. 

Sighing, I responded. "When we thought the time was right. When we thought..." I trailed off because no matter what I said here it would be wrong. When we thought the time was right? Who the fuck did we think we are? How would we even begin to know when the time was right? We weren't her. We didn't know what was going through her head at any given moment. The fact was, if it was up to us, and we could get away with it, we probably never would have told her.