Secretary of Mine

KABANATA XXXI

Pareho nang umupo si Blue at ang nobya niyang si Sharina matapos niya itong alayan ng isang awit na nagpapahayag ng mg emosyong bumabalot sa kaniya. Alam niyang naramdaman nito ang takot na nadama niya kanina. Gusto man niyang pigilan ang takot ay kumawala pa rin iyon ng makita niya ang babae. Hindi niya kakayaning mawala ito sa piling niya.

Habang inaantay nila ang inorder niyang pagkain ay hindi niya mapigilang mapatitig rito. Tila ba minemememorize ang bawat parte ng mukha ng babae.

Napapitlag ito ng hawakan niya ang kamay nitong nakapatong sa lamesa. Hindi niya maiwasang mapangiti sa naging reaksyon nito sa ginawa niya. Namumula ang mukha ng dalaga. This is what he likes about her. She's innocent yet wild.

"Shari," kuha niya sa atensyon nito. Ini-angat nito ang ulo at sinalubong ang kaniyang tingin.

"B-ba-bakit?"

Hindi niya alam kung paano uumpisahan. Hindi niya alam kung kaya niyang sabihin rito ang natuklasan. He doesn't know how to tell her the truth. Habang tumatagal ang paglilihim niya ay mas lalong  napupuno ang dibdib at isipan niya ng guilt.

Naghahanda siya kahapon ng sorpresa para sa magiging kaarawan ng babae ng makatanggap siya ng mensahe mula sa ipinadalang alak na para mismo sa kaniya.

"4AM, Lingayen Fish Port, Namnamma No. 16" these words resonate strongly within his mind as he reads it with trembling hands and cold sweat as Blue looks at his wristwatch.

The note and the gift that was mysteriously placed at his table along with a bottle of Chateau La Bleu, which further confirms and fuels his anxieties driving him to the edge of his wits.

He knows that this came from Ben, who else would give him Chateau La Bleu but the man himself.  Ang huli pa nilang pagkikita ay pagbibigay nito ng impormasyon na nagtuturo kung saan maaari ang kaniyang ama. Along with this knowledge he also knew that the investigator would contact him if he found his long lost father that was forced into hiding in fear of his life.

What drives him mad is the fear of either finding a corpse, not being found or worse, seeing him living which makes Blue's mind race with questions that assault his sense of self.

This is it.

Blood rushes from his heart towards his veins he could feel that the circulation of his body is in an unnatural state, he knows this feeling all to well, like when he waited for his bar results but this time it is far stronger than what he felt before.

Batid niyang matagal na niyang inaatay ang resultang ito, matagal niya ng inaasam ang katotohanan pero may parte sa kalooban niya ang nagdadalawang isip. At the back of his mind various scenarios play but all of them is addled by the fear of destroying what he and Sharina have put together.

Nevertheless he absentmindedly leaves his office with some of his workers noticing.

Driving from La Union to Lingayen is quite a breeze specially if it's the evening, the long absent road and monotonous expanse of streetlights lulls him to deep silence as old memories start to spring forth from existence. The long tricycle ride of the once young De Luna captures the somber tone of his forcly numbed mind, whether it be circumstance or of his own volition, the lengthy eerie memory starts to haunt him further.

The monotonous journey sends him over the edge as his multiple cries for the missing father he once had begin to reveal themselves while the same sensations from eight years before haunt him. That long tricycle road from Laguna to La Union from his younger years resurface as he remembers stealing his uncle's tricycle just to see for himself if his father was alive and well or the consolation of knowing where he died would resolve something within him but his father vanishing all the more inches its way towards eating the life from his young mind.