Saudade [COMPLETED]

Chapter 34

I don't know what happened but after being okay with Blue ay hindi ko nanaman nakikita si Kegann.

Actually even Taus.

I thought that after spending a day with Kegann we'll go back to the usual but I guess the usual for us now is not seeing each other.

Day after day it's just getting sad.

Ria decided to just be home schooled and that means I won't be seeing her everyday. And so I was absentmindedly walking when I bumped in to someone.

"Of course it's you again. You often times don't look where you're heading." He said, his arms now wrapped around my waist because he caught me before I even fall.

"I'm sorry." I exhaustedly said.

"Lately every time I look at you, you look like you have all the problems in the world." He said still not removing his grip on me.

Hindi ako sumagot kaya nag patuloy siya.

"They said that stress can make you ugly."

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

"Really?" I asked and he nodded.

He let go of me kaya hinawakan ko ang mukha ko.

"Am I ugly na ba Taus?" I was a bit panicking, but instead of answering me he laugh his ass out and chuckle.

"What?!" I said irritatedly.

"Of course not. Ugly and Hailey Mendres shouldn't be combined in one sentence. You're exquisite, I'm just teasing you." Nalukot ang mukha ko sa sagot niya.

"Typical of you to piss me off! Dyan ka na nga!" Tumalikod na ako sakanya at nag simulang mag lakad ng tawagin niya ako.

"Mendres Cheer up. You're not supposed to take it all in when you know that there's an exit. Sometimes letting go of the things that's upsetting is way braver than holding unto it and let yourself suffer. You're better than that. Take care Hailey." Humarap ako sakanya ngunit nag simula na rin siyang mag lakad palayo.

"Thank you Taus." I whispered and continued walking again.

Just like the usual, Blue drive me home after class. He was a little grumpy.

"Is there anything wrong Babe?" I asked.

Bumusina siya kaya napapitlag ako.

I asked again and he just clenched his jaw.

"Babe?" I asked getting worried.

Are we gonna fight again?

"I saw you hugging Taus. Seriously Hailey are you playing me?" I feel like air escaped my lungs.

"I didn't hug Taus Blue! Palagi na lang bang ganito?" I said pissed.

"Hah! Why don't you ask that to yourself? Palagi nalang bang ganito? Bakit ba hindi mo malayauan yang si De Loyola? Are you in to him?" He wasn't shouting but I can see the fire in his eyes.

If he was mad I am mad too!
We always fight about this were in the first place hindi naman dapat namin pinag aawayan!

"How many times will I tell you that Taus is just a friend! Why can't you trust me!?" Parang pinipiga ang puso ko.

Why can't he trust me? My eyes started to water.

"He's your friend alright, then you choose Hailey, me or him?" I looked at him with wide eyes. Unbelievable!

"You're so unbelievable Blue! Why are you being like this!" I yelled.

"Hailey just choose." He said shutting me out.

I cried. Cried hard. Not because he's letting me choose but he go to this extent because he couldn't trust me.

"You know I love you and I will always choose you, but you doing this is totally low just because you couldn't give me even a faint of trust." I wiped all my tears and fix myself up.

He was staring on the steering wheel and gripping on it so hard.

"Don't worry I'll make sure that I won't cross paths with Taus..."

"And for your information we weren't hugging, he just caught me when I was about to fell face on the ground." I opened the car door and stormed out of it.

Being with him in a close space is suffocating but I am a one full blown stupid ass bitch cause even he was suffocating and he's causing me extreme pain I still love him whole heartedly and I'm yearning for him. Yearning for us.

I was almost pass the garden and close to receiving area when I felt a sinewy arms wrapped around me.

"I'm sorry baby, I am so s-sorry." I tried removing his grip on me but I stiffened when I felt his tears on my shoulder.

"Baby I'm so sorry, I am just so scared to lose you." He kissed my cheek and again my heart melt.

Gosh I am terribly stupid!

I turned to face him at mas lalong natunaw ang puso. Here's the man I love weeping I couldn't bear the sight even if I'm mad and deeply hurt.

I started wiping his tears with my hands.

"I'm forgiving you." I said. But I know this is the last time I'm forgiving him cause the next time he'll hurt me, I won't be able to forgive kasi ubos na ang pang unawa ko.

Mahal na mahal ko siya but I can only take enough blow til I'm done.

He kissed me in the lips and I felt his love.

Magka hawak kami ng kamay papasok.

We decided to spend the whole afternoon together just watching movies and talking about random things.

It felt good but I know something has definitely change.

Nang mag gabi ay dumating na ang parents ko. They both greeted Blue and I kissed them.

We ate dinner together at kumakain nalang ng dessert.

"Hailey." Dad called in his serious tone.

"Yes dad?" I said nervous. I know that tone, I know he'll ask me some thing that I may not like to do.

"You should avoid Ria. It's for the better." I dropped my spoon and my mouth hang open.

What? Wha did I just hear? Layuan ko si Ria!?

"Dad, I'm Ria's best friend I can't do that!" Halos mag hysteria ako sa pag sabi noon. Ria is the only person who's keeping me sane in times of difficulties and my dad is asking me to avoid her kung kelan ako kailangan ng best friend ko!?

"You can Hailey and you will do that." He said dismissing me.

"But dad—" I wasn't able to complete my sentence when blue cut me off.

"Haiz just listen to your dad. It's for the better." He said.

My heart sank deeper.

I looked at him with disappointed eyes.

He told me that Ria and I will go back to normal but it'll be impossible if he's agreeing that I should avoid Ria.

I felt alone and broken with no one who understands me.

I excused myself and went upstairs.

I heard them call my name but I'm just so drained and empty.

I feel so alone and lonely.