Saudade [COMPLETED]

Chapter 50

This is the last chapter before epilogue.

I just wanna thank you all for reading this novel. Thank you for the opportunity of being heard through my writing. It was a roller coaster ride for me for the past 7 months. When I posted this I didn't expect anything, I just wanna write my thoughts out and the words keeping me up at night. But I notice people voting for it and adding it to their library. It means so much to me. Thank you. It is my birthday today so as I turn 23 here's a piece of my 22nd year I'm leaving with you all.

I love you all so much!

♥️Mlssclrsgnt Xoxo 💋

***

🎼
There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now...🎼

I am slowly walking in the middle of the red carpet as everyone clapped their hands. I told myself that I won't cry so I won't ruin my make up but i just failed. Sunod-sunod ang pag patak ng luha ko habang nakatingin sa lumuluhang groom ko.

He was dashing like always. There were no days that i don't think he wasn't stellar. But today was an exception, because he exceeded being dashing and stellar. He looks exquisite.

🎼
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken

Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason...🎼

When I was half through the red carpet my parents meet me and they both kissed me. Just like everyone else in this place who witnessed Kegann and I love story they are both emotional.

"This is it anak. You'll create a family of your own, from this day forward." Mommy said teary eyed.

"You're always be my baby anak. Always remember that. Mahal na mahal ka ng daddy. Marami akong pagkukulang at kasalanan sayo. Everything that I did was all for you and I thought I'm just making your path straight anak, but I didn't know I was hurting you in the process. I hope you forgive me for everything. Kapag may anak kana sana maunawaan lahat. I love you my unica hija. Be happy, from this day forward." Sa sinabing iyon ni daddy ay hindi ko napigilan na mapahagulhol.

"Daddy I forgive you. Daddy I understand. Mahal na mahal ko din po kayo. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you and mom. Everything happens for a reason and I'm so grateful for the both of you. I will both love you always. Thank you mom, thank you dad." One last hug with them as we all headed upfront.

Slowly gracing my way to my husband in a few.

🎼
If I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spent every hour, of everyday
Keeping you safe...🎼

I thought I already lost him. I chased him, I really did back in the U.S. for 6 years, but he rejected me.

I understand. I hurt him, I broke him. He thought I fooled him and used him. He was devastated and I am too.

I was already willing to give him up when I saw him with someone else at the art gallery. Kasi kung masaya na siya sa iba hahayaan ko na siyang sumaya, all I'm after for is his happiness and that's what his love and my love for him taught me.

To be happy for someone you love even if it doesn't includes you.

🎼
A little closer now
Just a little closer now
Come a little closer
I need you to hold me tonight...

🎼
And I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken

'Cause I need you to see that you are the reason...🎼

But life and love has a lot of surprises, he just arrived in this island and open up his heart to forgive me, for us to reach where are we now.

"Son, take care of my daughter." Daddy said as he tapped Kegann's shoulder.

Kegann hug my parents as I hug his parents too, pagkatapos noon ay hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at hinalikan iyon.

"This is really is it love." He whispered as tears streaming down his face.

I wiped it and smiled at him.

"Yes love, this is it." I said as we both walk hand and hand nearing the pastor.

The ceremony began and we are all filled by God's amazing grace blessing us on this wedding day.

Everything is just fleeting.

I just finished saying my vow to Kegann and I cried and gave my heart on it.

Promising him that I'll be patient, kind, humble and understanding. That I will not dishonor him, nor be self seeking, i will not be easily angered, and will not keep record of wrongs. We'll always rejoice in truth and never will delight in evil. We'll always protect, trust, hope, persevere in each other's love. Til the end of time. Til we have each other. Til our last breath.

And now,
We're staring at each other's eyes feeling that our heart is beating in one rhythmic rhyme.

"Love.." He began with his vow.

"10 years, 10 years ago when I met you. The day I laid my eyes on you I already told myself that it's you I wanted to end up with. You were so young, I was too but I was already decided. I will wait for you and I will love you as I wait...

But the journey towards waiting for you and loving you wasn't easy, It broke me multiple times, You have crashed my heart to million of pieces and left me wrecked and ruined...

I hated you but not enough to un love you. You're still the one my heart is yearning, You're still the one who can fix what you've broken, You're still the one who can resurrect my dying heart, You're still the one and only who can make me feel this way..."

Kegann said as his eyes is glistening because of the tears from his eyes. Like the leaves sprouted in the spring. It's always been magnificent. I've seen and felt everything.

"Saudade. It's a feeling of melancholy and longing, and I have felt it throughout this years. I am so familiar with it that I was comfortable living with it... but love, the day you said you love me and I felt it, Saudade became euphoria. You brought me to a different extreme of happiness. If I have to rerun it again i will do it. For the pain was all worth it because you are worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way knowing in the end it's you and I together. No more darker days for the both of us because from this day on, we will light each other's life with the light and love that the Lord is blessing us. Finally Love, after all. You're now my Mrs. Kegann Del Ray and nothing will come between us. It's you and I in the end."

Everyone was crying with us, for what he said just blew my mind away. It was beautiful. It was precious. Those are the words I'll keep repeating in my head until I die.

We're already lost in each other's eyes. Our souls, heart and body is now one.

"So now I pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!"

It was the announcement that finally sealed everything in.

Kegann kissed me in relish and tender way. It was the sweetest kiss we ever shared.

We turn to face the people who has been invited in our wedding.

Our dearest friends and family, We smiled to them as we turn our backs to watch the sun setting in front of us.

Our love is indeed Saudade, because apart from its definition of melancholy and longing, it also means "A love that remains." And our love towards each other will forever remain.

"Saudade a love that remains." I whispered as i held tighter to my husband's hand.