Wicked Her

Kabanata 45

"Magpalakas ka na." Walang gana kong tiningnan ang pagkain sa kutsara na hawak ni Nealle. "Birthday na bukas ng kapatid m--"

"She is not my sister." Kita sa boses ko ang lungkot at disgusto. Alam kong naramdaman nya iyon pero itinapat nya parin sa akin ang lugaw. "I'm not hungry." Bulong ko. Mabilis kong iniwas ang tingin mula sa galit nyang mata. It's dark and scary. I feel like he can crush me anytime if he'll want to.

"You need to eat at least." Lalo nya itong itinapat hannggang sa malasahan ko ito.

"I dont want to eat!" Hinawi ko ang kamay nya at tumalsik ang kutsara sa sahig. "There's no reason for me to live my life anymore." I can't help but to cry.

Natakot ako ng makita ang galit sa mata ni Nealle. It's rare.

"Dont say that."

"You dont understand." I said wiping away my tears.

"Then let me understand. What is it?" Tanong nya ng malumanay. I think that he is being patient with me.

"Im losing everything I used to have." Walang takot kong saad. Hindi sya umimik. "I'm losing whats mine. Im losing dad." Bulong ko.

"You have me." Tumingin ako sa
kanya.

"Emily owns you."

Hindi sya nakasagot na tila hindi nya nagpaghandaan ang isasagot nya dito.

"She will have you." He didn't utter a word again. A long silent between us and I feel awkward between my fear and pain

Only I can feel this when i'm with Nealle. There's so many emotions to handle.

"She wont." Tiningnana ko lang sya. "I'll stay by your side Ara." He said as if it'll comfort me.

"Becausse I asked you to."

"Because I want to." Balik nya. I made a mocking laugh making him look at me.

I saw his intense and serious eyes and it makes my knee weak.

I look away.

"Oh how I wish." Nakangising saad ko at humiga na. "You may now leave." He doesn't have to be here. I'm not his responsibility.

"You'll come tomorrow?" Tanong nya.

"Do you want me to come?" Tanong ko pabalik.

"Why not?" Nakangiting tanong nya. Dun ako nadala ng husto.

What a beautiful scene.

I don't know what's with him that makes my heart flutter.

"I will come then." Hindi ko alam kung nagsisinunaling ba ako o ano. "Leave now Nealle." Saad ko at tinalikuran sya. Pumikit ako at nakatulog na pala.

Sabi ng doctor ay makakalabas na ako mamaya. Hinihintay ko nalang sila daddy at mommy.

"You want milk?" Umiling ako at umupo sa higaan ko. "Water?" Umiling ako. "Anything?"

"You may now go mom." I said then lie on the bed.

"You okay?" Tanong nya. Umiling ako.

"Kailan alis mo?" Malamig na tanong ko.

"After Emily's birthday." Nakangiting sabi nya. I gave her my coldest glare.

So she'll leave soon? Wala nang nagtatanong kung anong gusto ko? Kung anong kailangan ko? Mom, I know mom cares for me.

"I-i'll go with you." I said not sure with what I said.

This province is giving me a hard time. Pag nagpatuloy pa ako dito ay baka lalo akong masaktan. Dad have Emily now. He wont care about me now. He wont notice me and I dont want that. I don't want pity anymore, i'm done with that.

I've reflected while i'm at the hospital. Stranger's pity hurts my ego. Nealle's actions hurt my heart.

"Really?" I saw happiness on mom's eyes. Ngumiti sya. "Talaga?" I nodded coldly.

I need to fix myself bago pa ako mawasak ng tuluyan. Bago pa ako makaramdam ng sobrang sakit.

This pain is enough.

But before I leave I need to do something remarkable. Hindi pwede umalis ako sa lugar na ito na ako ang talo.

Atleast I need to be tie with Emily.

So this is not really a retreat.