REMEMBER // Calum Hood

Forty three // realization

How many times have I promised myself not to drink again? And yet, here I am. Waking up unnecessarily early on a Sunday morning, tired and hungover. How many hours have I slept? Probably 5, but it most certainly felt like 5 minutes. I don't know what happens when I have too much to drink. I can never get a proper night of sleep, even though all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep off this hideous headache. But I refuse to let this minor inconvenience ruin my last day with Calum. At least, the last for the next three months. I look at the handsome man sleeping beside me and a spontaneous smile takes over my lips while I remember the words he said to me in London.

Flashback //

"Do you wanna know something random?" Calum asks me

"Sure"

"I had never woken up next to someone before like I did today"

"Ahn?" I'm beyond confused "What do you mean?"

"I always wake up before them" He explains "That's why I'm always up so early. I can't properly relax when I sleep with someone"

I can't hide my content

"I couldn't" Calum corrects himself "I guess I can now"

"That's so sweet" I comment feeling my heart melt for the hundredth time today "I was your first" I brag making him laugh "Was it good for you?"

"Shut up" He rolls his eyes pretending to be done with me but the smile on his lips tells me otherwise

Flashback //

A long cold shower helps me restore my well-being - and the lost part of my dignity. I get ready inside the bathroom, doing my best not to wake Calum up. He looks adorable lying shirless in between messy white sheets, his chubby cheeks screwed against the pillow with parted lips emitting his light snores. As I look at the pile of clothes folded in his last drawer, something clicks inside my head. I have clothes here. Enough clothes to choose which one I want to wear to lunch with my parents today. My clothes are here, in Calum's house.

Even though it should scare me, the realization amazes me. Just a few months before, I'd say it's moving too fast. I did ask him to take things slow and yet, here we are. Sharing a house for the last couple of weeks and doing it all so naturally, doing it like it was the logical thing to do. Nothing about it scares me anymore. It happened at it's own pace. Our own pace.

"Hey" I whisper into his year, brushing a few strands of his messy hair "Wake up"

Calum grumbles still deep in sleep and I let him enjoy a few more minutes of it while I change. He usually doesn't take too long to get ready even though last Sunday the boy spent half an hour deciding on which shirt to wear. Once I'm fully clothed, I watch the sleeping boy deciding what to do. Part of me wants to let him rest but another part of me wants to seize every single possible second we have left.

"Do you think it's a good idea?"

"What?"

"You know what"

"What do you mean, Gia?"

"This whole tour thing" I sighed "It's getting to me"

"Are you having second thoughts?"

With a sigh, I try to remember the rest of last night's conversation. That's the problem of drinking too much: we say too many things we don't always should - not to mention the lack of memories. You'd think I've learned my lesson after waking up in Calum's bed, who at the time was as good as a stranger, but I clearly didn't. Last night was fun though. Everyone was in that drunken state where everything is funny and even the most bizarre thoughts seem like a good idea, but not too drunk to actually let those bizarre thoughts come to life. It was definitely a comic time. We played all the games I love and Ashton hates - which lead to him trying to spoil our fun at all times. "This is my house" he would say as a justification making everyone in the room boo him.