REMEMBER // Calum Hood

Forty eight // time

Whoever said that time flies certainly wasn't sitting on the couch at home waiting for someone to come back from a 3 month tour. 

Time. What even is it? Have you ever stopped to think about it? How do we even measure time? At a party, 5 hours seem to flash before your eyes but 5 minutes on a treadmill feel like eternity. Who decides when to speed up and when to slow things down? Who decides which moments are worth pulling the brakes? Who can explain how some moments last forever and others go by in the blink of an eye? 

"How long is Calum going to be away with his band?" Matty asked me the other day

Too long, is the first answer that came to mind but... How long is too long? How do you choose to measure your time? I measure my car rides with songs and my showers according to Duke's barks. I know Cal measures distance in minutes - last week he said he was 3 minutes away from the venue they were playing that night - and he sometimes measures his time in cigarettes, like the stylist that kept them waiting in the fitting room for 2 smokes.

"Six more weeks" I remember telling the boy 

"Are you gonna be okay?" Matty took me by surprise "I can tell you miss him, you're always glancing towards the door"

This morning I caught myself starting the coffee machine. I made the best cup of coffee of my entire life and there was no one to drink it - since I don't like coffee. I've been using the same dirty T-shirts to bed because I noticed that if I wash them, Calum's smell goes away. Last week, Roy stopped by to take me to the grocery store - he said it's something he and Calum usually do since both of them hate going grocery shopping alone. I was wearing Cal's Nirvana T-shirt and his gray Nike sweatpants in the occasion, but Roy refused to leave the house with me dressed like that.

"I miss him but it's okay" I shruged my shoulders, trying to sound casual

"For how long have you met him?" Matty asked, making me chuckle

We've became friends during this time he's been coming here to clean Calum's pool. It's only the sixth time I see him but it's not hard to like Matty. He was all shy the first time I saw him but now he won't stop talking for a second and his curious nature has him asking all types of questions all day. Like this one. For how long have I met Calum? How can I measure the time I've known Calum? I've known him for 27 breakfasts. For 18 bottles of wine. Actually, 19, if you count the one he sent to my table during my date with Kevin. I've known Calum for 3 and a half fights and countless deep meaningful conversations.

"We've met in the second week of September" I told the boy with a nostalgic smile "One of Calum's friends invited Lis, you've met Lis, to this party and... I didn't know but the party was at Calum's old house so that's where I met him"

"And that's it? You guys started dating after this party?" Matty was especially curious this day

I didn't mind answering his hundreds of questions, Matty was a very nice company. Any company was nice these days. Being alone gets too loud sometimes and I've learned that I don't like living alone in a big house, well, not in this house at least. I never told Calum about it but I'm guessing he noticed it cause two weeks ago Lis showed up on his doorstep with her sleeping bag to "spend some time with me". She stayed here for the 5 nights we slept in the guest room. I'm keeping my promise, Cal. No one - except for myself - has slept in your bed.

Gia: i have a question

Calum: The answer is yes

Gia: i haven't asked it yet

Calum: For you the answer will always be yes