REMEMBER // Calum Hood

Twenty two // mission

My father has always told me that I'm crystal clear when it comes to my feelings. Completely see-through. That you just have to look at me to know how I'm feeling. He's always said it like it's a good thing. Like I should be proud or something. Dad thinks it's one of my qualities. He would say that when I'm happy or excited, I radiate it. That everyone in the room can feel it, it's almost contagious. The same thing happens when I'm mad or upset. You just gotta look at me because it's written all over my face. And it don't matter how hard I try to pretend otherwise, its still pretty obvious.

"You okay?" Calum whispers in my ear

I look up from my plate to give him a curt nod thinking how much I hate being transparent. Calum and Roy came back with our food a few minutes ago and now we are all gathered by Ashton's backyard table having lunch together. Ash and Luke are having an argument about something stupid and entertaining the rest of us. It's funny but I don't want to be here right now. I want to go home and think things through. I want to get away from Calum and clear my head. I need to figure out how I'm feeling. I need a minute.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I offer him a small smile

I don't want to cause a scene. I could've stood up from my chair the minute Sierra broke me the news and ran out of the door. I'm not gonna lie that the thought crossed my mind. But I don't want people minding my business, wondering what caused my sudden outburst, judging my actions or validanting my feelings. So I pretend everything is okay. I'll pretend to be fine until I'm alone in my room. I pretend that nothing is bothering me.

"Sure?" Calum insists

His cautious eyes bore into mine and I know he doesn't believe me. I wish I could disguise better though. I wish he couldn't read in my face that something is wrong. I wish I weren't that transparent.

"Yeah" I lie and look away

I can feel Drew's gaze on me on the other side of the table but I pretend not to see it. He probably knows that something is wrong with me too but I don't want to deal with it right now. Calum eventually quits trying to figure me out and engages in a humorous debate with Michael and Alec. The lunch follows as pleasant as every time I meet with Calum's friends. We finish eating but the conversations are far from ending even if I'm not taking much part of it. I'm trying to come up with a good excuse to leave without being rude.

"I had plans to help my dad with some stuff today" Drew casually says making me immediately snap my head in his direction

He's lying. I know it but you probably would believe him if you didn't know the whole story. Drew hasn't talked to his father since their last encounter when they had an ugly fall out. He hasn't visited his dad in the clinic since August.

"We should get going" I get up from the table following his lead

"Already?" Calum questions me

"Yeah, I'll drive Drew" I tell him

Alec is clueless. You could see the doubt forming in his mind when Drew mentioned his father but thank God he didn't say anything. The three of us proceed to say our goodbyes to everyone before heading for the front door. Sierra gives me a meaningful look and says that I can call her if I need to. Calum is waiting us by the door and I tell Drew and Alec to wait in the car. Drew practically has to drag Alec away because he is too slow to realize what's going on.

"You could've told me you're going on tour" I bluntly say

"But how... Who... I was going to. Shit. Who told you that?"

His eyebrows shot up and his lips are partially parted in an obvious surprised expression.

"Sierra wanted to know where we stand" I tell him the truth "And how we were going to deal with the tour. She thought I already knew"