Remember Me || Jungkook x Reader

°Ch.37°

(A/N: WARNING!! This chapter contains depression/self harm!!)

Why are you still here???

What are you doing with your life??

Just because you have him again doesnt mean everything is alright..

It doesnt mean that your fixed and normal.

You cant walk and your depending on everyone to be there for you. 

Your a burden and your bothersome. 

Leave while you can...

"Your causing them so much stress because of your condition."  I looked up and saw Jungkook walking away hand in hand with someone else. "J-Jungkook!" I called out but he was gone....

Y/N Pov
I shot up from my sleep covered in sweat. I looked around and sighed relieved that it was just a bad dream. "stupid voices..." I spoke but the voices instantly filled my mind. 

You have a blade in your drawer.... Use it

Be useful for once and do something right. 

This is the only way to put you at ease.   

I looked to my right and reached for the drawer seeing a pack of blades just staring at me. (I-I shouldnt...) I thought about to close the drawer and go back to sleep but something stopped me. I looked down at my legs and felt numb... I know it was just a dream but, am I causing them so much stress?? 

Are they annoyed by me constantly needing them whenever I need help. Is Appa and Oppa fed up with helping me go downstairs or wherever I need to go?

I pulled the pack of blades out and opened it grabbing a thin and thick blade. My mind was blank. Nothing was going through my mind, no one to stop me.. no one to tell me that this was wrong. I help the blade up against my wrist and began cutting. The stinging sensation that I didnt realize how much I missed. I continued to cut uncontrollably, slicing through my forearms. I wanted to cut my inner thighs, I wanted to cut in different places. Cut away all my imperfections. 

I leaned over my body trying to reach in different places until I lost balance and fell off my bed. A large thud could be heard with how big the impact my body had with the floor. Waking up from my dark thoughts I began to shake while on the floor. I heard my door swing open and footsteps run in. 

Donghae Pov
I was in my room working on some lyrics that needed to be finalized for our comeback. "Ah... its already 3 in the morning.. I guess I should finish this later" *THUD* I stopped what I was doing and looked around.. (Was that Y/n??) I got out of my seat and ran out of my room towards Y/ns room. I opened her door and walked in turning on her lights. "Y/n?? was that you that made that loud noise?? Are you al- Y/n?!" I slightly raised my voice not loud enough for Appa to hear. 

I saw Y/n on the ground shaking as there was a puddle of blood forming around her. (What the fuck happened here?!) I looked around and saw 2 blades sitting on her bed soaked with her blood. I ran over to Y/n holding her in my arms, I looked at her body and noticed that she cut her arms several times along with her thighs and stomach. (Again...?) I carried her over to the shower and sat her down in the tub while running the water. I walked back out into her room and it was just a bloody mess...

Her sheets and floor were stained with the bright red liquid. I scratched the back of my neck frustrated. (I better call someone to help me...) I pulled out my phone and called Y/ns best friend Minseok, letting him know that I needed him here asap. 

After about 15 minutes of waiting there was a knock on the door and Minseok entered. I led him up to Y/ns room and into the washroom. "Hyung why did you call me over so su-.... you have got to be kidding me Lee Y/n!" He raised his voice as he saw Y/n in the tub with blood running down her body into the drain. "Ask questioned later Minseok, right now can you clean and bandage her up... theres a first aid kit under her sink... I have to go clean her room.. theres blood everywhere" 

Minseok Pov
Donghae hyung left me in the washroom with Y/n while he went to clean her room. My eyes softened up as I looked back down at my best friend. I got on my knees and began cleaning her up. Washing her cuts carefully not to hurt her. "Y/n..." I called out to her while turning off the water. She looked up at me with red puffy eyes before speaking up "I-Im sorry!" she cried out while leaning into my chest. 

"nonono d-dont be sorry.. i-its not your fault.. shhh hajima" I grabbed the first aid kit taking out the bandages. "Y/n lets bandage you up.." I said while reaching out for her arm. She flinched at first but slowly extended both her arms to me. After bandaging the places she cut I lifted her up from the bathtub and carried her out to her room where I saw Donghae hyung scrubbing the floor. 

"O-Oppa..." she choked as she looked down at her brother who was cleaning her blood stained floor. I placed her down in her wheelchair and Donghae hyung locked eyes with Y/n. "M-M-MIANHE!" she cried out while bringing her hands up covering her face. "I-I didnt mean to d-do it! I-I just f-felt the need to! I-I-" she was cut off by her brother running up to hug her. 

"Shut up already... " he spoke while breaking the hug. "Why did you do that..." he asked and I was curious to why she did it as well. Y/n looked at me then back to hyung before she responded "I... The voices in my head were telling me to do it... they were saying that I was causing you all so much stress because of my condition. Saying you were all fed up with me and that I was just a burden to you all" She looked down ashamed at what she had done. I felt bad for her... I never seen her this broken before. I knew she was cutting but I thought she stopped...