𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

John Shelby - Without him

After the recent passing of John, you were finding it hard to cope. Too hard in fact. You forced a smile on your face, busied yourself with work and time with the children - it was an escape. You loved John, he was your soulmate, your best friend, your lover and life didn't feel happy anymore. Life no longer had any colour, you no longer saw the beauty.

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You currently sat adding up numbers with Michael when Tommy called you into his office.

You knocked on the door before Tommy welcomed you in. You walked in and went towards the whiskey, pouring two glasses before walking towards Tommy's desk, placing the glass in front of him.

"Y\N, I'm sorry about John. I underst—.." Tommy started. "No, no you're not. You don't understand because you didn't fucking care, he would always be trying to bloody help with this hell of a business! But no, you just strut about with your all high and mighty, you don't get hurt because you don't do the fucking dirty business, you don't get the debris of your fucking decisions! John and I did! Bloody hell, Tommy! We fucking suffered for the mistakes you made!" You bellowed on the urge of tears. You hadn't had time to cry, not with the children waking at night, asking for their father. There was no doubt that the people from outside the office were listening in - you were finally getting your release, and as Tommy just stood there looking at you; it angered you even more. "It will get better." He mumbled, fuelling more coal to your fire as you heart roared, adrenaline and anger running through your veins. You threw the glass of finished whiskey at the wall behind Tommy's head, making him flinch. "Ha! It will get fucking better will it? When the smell of my John fucking fades from my bed sheets?! When my John becomes nothing but a distant memory to my children?! When I stop wearing John's shirts because it smells like him?! No, Tommy! It doesn't get fucking better! You sit there and tell me about some shite getting better!" You roared, clutching a bottle of whisky in your hand as you spoke. "You know what, he died on his fucking doorstep, Thomas! His fucking doorstep!" You screamed, the tears finally running down your cheeks. You dropped to your knees and sobbed. "I can't be without him. I love him, I love him so much!" You cried, Tommy walking over to you and dropping on his knees, pulling you into his chest as he stroked your hair.

"Shhh shhh." Tommy soothed, his hand rubbing your back assuringly.

***************
"Mummy! When is Daddy coming home from work?" Your youngest daughter asked, all the family turning to look at the young child with sympathy. Tears prickled their way to your eyes once more and you carefully came down to her height. "Baby, Daddy has gone to live with the angels." You whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't want him to leave yet. Who's going to kiss me goodnight and read me bedtime stories?" She whined, studying your face with those familiar eyes - John. "Daddy will always be here, my love. No matter where you are, what you've done, he will always be here." You smiled, tears running their course down you cheek peacefully as you pointed at her heart. "He's got our backs, baby. Just like he always has." You smiled before pulling her in for a hug, Arthur and Polly giving you a sad smile before you closed your eyes and rested your head on your daughters shoulders.

"Mummy, do you miss Daddy? Will he always be with you?" She asked innocently, causing you to pull you head back and open your eyes with a smile. "I miss Daddy so much, but do you know what? Those beautiful eyes that you share with your father, and that cocky little grin that you and your siblings do, they remind me of Daddy. You are my littles angels, okay? Don't you ever forget that." You smiled, the rest of your children walking over to you and giving you a cuddle. "Okay, Mummy!" They all bellowed before you made your way home for pancakes.

Cried so much when John died. Love him so much!

Hope you enjoyed! REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!!!

Have a great day! ❤️
- BubbleBaby893