𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

John Shelby - 'Fire Breather' by Laurel

You were a barmaid at the Garrison. You had moved from city to city in hope for a job and had found a local pub to pull pints and serve drinks. It wasn't a lot of money, but it was above minimum wage and you needed to pay bills so you weren't complaining. You had made a good impression on all of the Shelby's. Grace telling you dreamy stories about how blue Tommy's eyes were, which always made you chuckle. Although you had a great friendly relationship with all of the Peaky boys, there was one Shelby that you shared something special with and that was no other than John Shelby.

Yourself and John had something for each other, he would stay behind when everyone else had gone home and helped you clear and wipe tables. The endless chatting that you both delved into a soon as you saw each other was something you often found yourself looking forward to. The dangerous aura that he plastered around himself in the presence of others, completely dissipated into cocky grins and boyish jokes when he was with you. You had picked up that he wasn't even like that with his wife, Esme.

Esme. How could you imagine yourself with John when he's got a wife and children waiting for and depending on him? It wouldn't be fair on John, his wife and children, or especially you to get involved in a relationship with him. Even though, it was going to result in heartbreak, you didn't stop yourself from becoming attached. You didn't stop yourself from letting him into your apartment for a chat in the early hours of the morning.

********************

As if on cue, there was a sudden loud knock on your front door. You would be lying if you said that you didn't know who would come to you at these absurd hours of the morning. Yet, you knew exactly who it was, and as you found yourself striding towards the door, your heart screamed for the man you had slowly begun to fall for.

You opened the door to a wet-haired, upset and sorrowful looking John. Something, you certainly were not used to, but wanted to help him none the less. You gestured for John to come in, the thick tension that you both had been craving enveloped around the two of you. Almost like a child pushing their two friends together to kiss while they chanted.

"Are you alright?" You asked as you unwrapped the coat from John's shoulders and hung it up next to your other coats.

"I'm so sorry, this is so wrong. Were you sleeping?" John stammered, searching your eyes and reaching for his coat until you shot your hand up and intertwined you hand with his - the contact making your heart pump violently and your skin tingle. "What's wrong, my love?" You questioned, bringing John's hand to your lips and pressing soft kisses against his forehand while he smiled down at you. "It's just, I'm so pissed off at Tommy. He pushed me into a marriage I didn't want just so he can assure his business." John announced, the sparkle that normally made his eyes look blue and warm, now made them look cold - exactly like Tommy's. You used John's hand to pull yourself closer to him and caressed his cheek with your fingertips. "John, you've got a beautiful wife and amazing children -" You started before he shook your hands off and walked further into your house, muttering to himself in annoyance. "John." You repeated as you followed his quick strides into the kitchen until you had caught up to him.

The sight of him so distressed and angry made you want to hold him in your arms forever, but the golden ban around his left finger was the slap of reality. "John! What's the problem?" You shouted, his stubborn ways agitating you. "I want you! Not Esme, not anyone else. I want you!" he yelled, tears breaking the seal from his eyes and setting their course down his cheeks. "I want you, Y/N. I love you." he breathed, the difficulty of speaking through tears making his voice break.  "And with this bloody ring around my finger, I can't have you." John added whilst he stared down at the ring on his hand before he looked back up to you.

The tension had finally gotten too thick for the two of you to bare, and before you had time to think, you were leaping into his arms and kissing his lips with such a need and passion it had your heart wreathing. The kiss deepened to the point where you found yourself craving for more of the taste of smoke and whiskey on his tongue as he lifted your legs around his waist and settled you down onto your kitchen table, not once breaking the kiss. It felt so wrong in your mind, but felt so bloody fucking right in your heart.

Soon enough, your conscience had gotten the better of you and caused you to pull away from John. You rested the palm of your hand on his chest as you foreheads rested against each other, already craving the taste of one another. "John, I love you. I love you with everything I have but we can't do this. You have a wife who sets food on your table when you come home from a rough day, children who run circles around you because they love and admire you. God, I wish I was the one who could welcome you with open arms after a hard day, be the one who would hold you close and bare your children. That's never going to happen though, no matter how much we want it." You whispered, the emotion pouring from your lips at such a speed tears began to roll down your soft cheeks. "I understand. Goodbye Y/N, I love you. Always." John stated sadly before he turned and exited the kitchen, heading towards the door.

What were you doing? No, you were going to fight for this because you loved John. You leaped off the table and rushed towards John. "John! Wait! I love you too much to not fight for you. I want you and only you. I won't settle for any other man." You expressed as you ran into John's arms and stared up at him. "Fuck it, fuck them all. You're mine and I'm yours." John breathed, his heartbeat hammering against your chest as you connected your lips in a hungry and hard kiss.

You couldn't push John out of your life. You loved him, craved him and wanted him - no matter the consequences. As he said, fuck them all.