•Mature 18+
Contain Graphic drug usage, Sexual Content and explicit Language.
Ashlyn was a emotional teen that was just trying to make it through high school. That's it that's all. Well until meets a self-proclaimed psycho that turns her world upsid...
Thousands of women lose their baby due to injury or birth complications, and this is kinda like awareness that it does get better, and people are there for you.
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"You sure you okay?", Kyson asks as I nod
"I'm fine", I say smiling falsely before walking into our house
I had been trapped in that hospital for the past three days, and I just wanted to come home. I wanted to go in babies nursery and picture her healthy in the Crib.
I felt like I was dying inside, but maybe that was just me feeling empty from my baby being gone.
And no I'm not the type to wallow in self pity and cry every time I think about her. God is watching over me and my family. Rose is with him and we will get better with time. I'm not going to stop socializing because of this. This situation made me see that life can be taken in an instant and you have to live while you can and love with everything in you so they know how much they are appreciated in your life just Incase they are taken away.
"Mama are you okay?", Kyrie asks with a tilted head
"Mama is going to be fine", I say stooping down to kiss his cheek before going to lay on the couch
How was I supposed to bounce back like I was fine when I still felt so fucking empty despite my mind trying to tell me to not wallow. I know I can't ignore my boys but I have always wanted a daughter, and I lost her just that quick. I lost a part of me, and even though my boys are my worlds I just really wanted a little girl in the house that I could call mine. Now I might not even be able to have the chance with all the scar tissue.
"Mama it's okay to not be okay", Kyrie says placing his hands on my face
"I promise I'm okay. Come lay down with me", I say moving over for him as he cuddles close and smiles
"I love you", He says kissing my head like he sees his daddy do
"I love you too baby. So much", I say trying hard not to think on the situation
"Uppy?", Cruz says tapping me gently
Kyson lifts him up on the couch for me before moving back to the couch across from us to watch.
"You have been asking how I am, but how are you. She was your baby too", I say my eyes meeting his for the first time in three days
I couldn't look at him. I felt guilty knowing I killed our baby. I did this, and now he is hurting. But I just can't find it in myself to say I regret it. I could never regret saving the little girl.
"I'm hurting. That was my little girl, and I barely got to see her before they were pronouncing her dead. She looked so much like you. I told them to take her because I know how much it would hurt you if you actually saw her", he says shaking his head with tear filled eyes
"I'm sorry Kyson. Maybe I shouldn't have saved the little girl, but I couldn't let her die. What if this is just what God intended to happen.", I say sniffling
Cruz whines and wipes my eyes looking over at Kyrie who was crying him self.
He didn't actually understand the situation to an extreme extent but seeing us cry probably caused him to cry.
"I'm here with you through whatever Love. Maybe this was a sign that we should just focus on our two boys and leave our family at this. Rose is our angel baby and we in our hearts know that we had a daughter, but we need time to heal and strengthen our family", He says getting up to move close to me and kiss my head
"I love you. We will heal", I say not even bringing up the topic of Roses room or the fact that we had to do something with the baby stuff.
"I love you more. I got this family, and if that fails...God has you", He says
