The Guys on my Flat

Chapter Forty One

I went straight to bed when I got home, my tired body ached for sleep, but my mind raced faster than any car, quicker than any plane, I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to...

*

Two weeks had passed.

The Captain's funeral was on today. Over the past two weeks everybody had been trying to cheer me up in their own way. Liam showed me some of the photos he had taken; the company really wanted the photos he accidently submitted. Andy made me his hot chocolate again, which was odd, since getting his hot chocolate twice in one year was like flipping a coin twenty times and getting heads for each of them; highly unlikely.

I was standing before a mirror, I was wearing a black dress, it wasn't modest or revealing, it looked like an almost everyday length dress. I beared no jewellery, and wore no heels and watched in the mirror as Cassidy helped with my hair. She wore something of similar design to me.

I didn't know who else was really going.

The Captain didn't have much family in the country and nobody here was really close enough to him to care to go to his funeral. Cassidy was only really coming out of respect to me and she was my ride.

She stood before me and stared at my sad face, "are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked touching the side of my cheek.

I nodded, "Yes... I'm fine," I lied. I wasn't, far from it, I probably wouldn't be fine.

I could tell she wasn't convinced, but after making a face, she announced our departure as cheerfully acceptable as possible and we both left. I didn't run into anybody.

I was so tired.

I went into several dazes during the short car ride to the cemetery. Since the Captain was an ex-war navy officer, he got one of those very fancy, official funerals. The Priest read from the bible, saying how he was a strong willed man who fought for his country, how the Captain was a good man and a proud navy Captain.

But what did he know?

He didn't know the Captain, he never shook his hand or said hello or even knew where he was stationed.

I wasn't paying attention to his rehearsed words; all I noticed was the lack of people about. Chairs were set up for a crowd of people, and some arrived. Some were Captains of their own, old and as frail and the Captain who was being placed in the ground. Some were distraught, others stood proud and tall. Cassidy and I were the only youths however there.

The Captain's hat and uniform and the nation's flag had been handed off to one of the older Captain's. I refused to cry; his request still echoed in my head, it had echoed for the past two weeks. I hadn't been sleeping; I fainted at school a few days ago and haven't been there since.

Before I knew it, the funeral itself was over and people had started to leave. I rose from my seat when they wanted to take the chairs set out. It must've been hours.

I kneeled before the fresh grave.

The dirt was still soft beneath my knees and my fingers were numbly going through it, like there was some mistake and the Captain was still alive in his coffin. I made sure I didn't cry.

I knew Cassidy was somewhere, but I didn't care if she wanted to leave or not.

I hugged my elbows; the sky was grey, the trees barely lifeless and the whole graveyard moaned with the stones of death.

Then I heard the sound of grass being stepped on. I turned my head and heard the soft murmurs of Cassidy talking to someone.

I turned the full way around and watched as everybody walked over. All the guys were there, Alex, Liam, Andy, Isaac and even the Merlins were here. Booker and Adam even came, Adam holding a white rose in his small fingers.