Shawn Mendes Imagines Part 3 {COMPLETED}

73. Mental Health

A/n: TRIGGER WARNING!!! MENTIONS OF THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM SO PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU THINK THAT YOU WILL STRUGGLE WITH IT. Okay, let's begin.

I laid in bed listening to a song on repeat. For some reason it was making me depressed. I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, so this isn't good. I stopped listening to the song and texted my boyfriend of three years, the singer and songwriter Shawn Mendes. He's currently on tour. Due to the time difference, it's about ten at night where I am, and about three in the morning where he is.

Me: Please call or Facetime me when you see this. I'm struggling right now and I need to hear your voice and talk to you.

Within minutes my phone rang. I turned on the light next to my bed, answered the call, and then Shawn's face came up on my screen.

"Hey there darling. What's wrong?" He asked.

"Wait, did I wake you up?" I asked.

"It's okay. You're worth losing sleep for and I have the day off." Shawn said. I shook my head.

"No, go back to sleep my love. I'll just talk to you later." I said. He shook his head.

"No. You said that you're struggling right now, and I want to know why my girl is struggling." Shawn said. I sighed.

"Um, I was listening to a song on repeat and now I just feel really sad and depressed." I said.

"What song?" He asked.

"Bury A Friend by Billie Eilish." I said. He nodded.

"Just from the title I'm surprised that you listened to it." He said.

"I mainly just like the rhythm and the beat of it." I said. I then looked over to his side of the bed.

"What are you thinking about darling?" Shawn asked. I looked at him and shook my head.

"It's fine." I said.

"No. You were looking at my side of the bed. What's going through your mind?" Shawn asked. I sighed and looked back over at the empty spot.

"The bed gets so cold and lonely without you. I wish you were here to hold me and kiss me and tell me that everything's going to be okay." I said. Shawn sighed and I looked over at his concerned face.

"Baby, say the word and I'll fly home." Shawn said. I wanted to say the word, but I couldn't. I shook my head and began to cry.

"I can't. I can't do that." I said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I can't do that to you or your fans or anyone. I'll be okay, baby, I promise." I said.

"Y/n, do you realize what you just said? You said that you will be okay. Not that you are okay, but that you will be. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst it's ever been, how bad is your depression?" Shawn asked. I thought for a moment as I continued to cry.

"I don't know." I said.

"Can you come up with a number for me please?" Shawn asked. I thought for a moment.

"Um, maybe seven or eight." I said. His eyes widened.

"Oh baby. That's a high number." Shawn said.

"Please don't cancel your concerts and fly home. I'm okay. I think that I just need some sleep." I said. Shawn looked at me and sighed before nodding.

"Okay. Sleep well my love. I'll talk to you later." He said.

"I love you." I said and he smiled a little.