Shawn Mendes Imagines Part 3 {COMPLETED}

123. Cheater part 2

A/n: Explicit language in this one! Anyways, please enjoy this imagine. Okay, let's begin!

Shawn's point of view

I sat in my dressing room backstage. Tonight I was going to do my first interview since Y/n ended things with me. I fucked up and cheated on her. After Y/n moved out, I stayed in the house that we had bought together, even though it was originally her aunt and uncle's house. She moved back in with her mom. Very soon after Y/n left, and I was done crying - well for the time I was - I called the girl that I had been sleeping with and ended things with her. Ever since then, I hadn't been intimate with anyone. I loved, and still do love, Y/n more than anything. I don't know why I did what I did.

"Shawn, you ready?" Andrew Gertler, my manager asked me. I nodded.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I said, and soon I was introduced onto the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

"Hey man, how are you?" Jimmy asked as I faked a smile.

"Good, how are you?" I asked.

"Good. So before we get into anything, I just, I remember you being on the show one time and you said to me, on camera, 'I love Y/n, I'm going to marry her someday.' and then you guys got engaged and I was really happy, but then you made an announcement saying that you guys were going your separate ways. I don't mean to pry, but what happened?" Jimmy asked. I sighed.

"Um, yeah there's no in this world like Y/n, and I really do love her more than anything. She's the love of my life and I really don't think that that's ever going to change, but last I heard, which was when things ended, she hated me. And she had, and still does have, every right to. I don't want to go into detail about what happened but I messed up, and I messed up big time. She found out, not even from me, she found out from my best friend, and when I got home she ended things with me. I'm always going to love her, and I think about her all of the time honestly. If I could go back and change what I did, I would in a heartbeat. I don't know if she's going to be watching this or not, but if she does watch this, I'm not asking for her forgiveness, I just want her to know that I'm always going to love her and that I'm always going to hope good things for her." I said, tears coming to my eyes as I said the last sentence.

"Wow, I've never seen you like this. You're pretty broken up." Jimmy said. I nodded as I wiped some tears away and when I spoke, my voice was shaky.

"Well of course I am. Her and I always talked about spending the rest of our lives together and I ruined it. She put her trust into me and I destroyed it. I don't think that we'll ever get back together, but if we did, I don't think that things would ever be the same." I said.

"Well let's go to commercial break and we'll be back in a moment." Jimmy said. I didn't even wait until the guy yelled cut, I just put my head in my hands and sobbed. I heard the guy yell cut and I looked at Jimmy and leaned in so only he could hear me.

"I fucked up so bad. I got drunk and cheated, and then even when I was sober I continued it." I said. His eyes went wide. Soon the interview was over, and I flew back to Massachusetts.

I walked in the door and remembered all of the times that Y/n would come running over to me when I walked in. I stepped into the family room, and remembered her sitting next to me as she watched me play the piano. I stepped into the dining room and remembered us celebrating my Grammy nominations in there. I walked into the kitchen and just through every room in the house, remembering things that had happened with her in each room.

I then went downstairs and grabbed a beer. I sat at the kitchen table - the same one that we had once sat at while excitedly talking about our wedding - and quickly downed the beer. I grabbed another one, and then another one, and then another one, and then I don't even know how many more. I wanted to be numb. I didn't want to remember what I had done. I stumbled across the room and looked at a picture of her and I that I hadn't taken down. I just couldn't bring myself to take them down. I held the photo in my hands and began to sob as I sat down on the couch.