Shawn Mendes Imagines Part 3 {COMPLETED}

104. Not Good Enough

A/n: Explicit language in this one! Anyways, please enjoy this imagine. Okay, let's begin!

I sat in the living room of the house that I share with my boyfriend of three years, Shawn Mendes. Shawn is a singer and songwriter, and he's currently on tour right now. I was scrolling through Instagram and saw all of the photos of him surrounded by beautiful fans, and the beautiful Alessia Cara. I swear, if Shawn wanted to, he could line up the girls, point at one of them, and he could leave me for her. I'm all the way in America, on a completely different continent from Shawn. I can't be with him because of school.

Negative thoughts swarmed around in my brain. I'm not good enough for Shawn. He's so amazing in every way, and then there's me. I went on Twitter. It was like I was torturing myself on purpose as I looked at the hate. I read about how the fans were saying how ugly I am, how fat I am, how Shawn could do so much better, and I even read the ones where some fans, who probably weren't real fans, were saying that I should kill myself. I didn't even realize that I was crying.

Maybe I should leave Shawn. He would be better off without me. I could call or Facetime him and tell him that I'm not good enough for him and that he should go find someone better than me. It would be so easy for him to find someone better than me. Anyone is better than me. My phone rang, and I saw that it was Shawn. There was no way that I could answer without him questioning me on why I was sobbing my heart out, so I let it go to voicemail. He left a message and then the home phone rang. I knew that it was Shawn, so I didn't even get up to check. I heard the voicemail that he left.

"Hey darling, it's me. I'm starting to get a little worried. I tried calling your cell phone but you didn't answer and now you won't answer the home phone. I'll try texting you. I miss you. Call me when you hear this." He said, but I had absolutely no intentions of calling him back. I then got a text from him.

My man: Hey darling. I tried calling you on your cell and on the home phone but didn't answer so I'm a bit worried. Please call me when you see this. I love and miss you.

I kept crying. I felt like I wasn't even good enough to text him back. There were too many negative thoughts in my brain. My phone rang again, but this time it was Andrew Gertler, Shawn's manager. I let it go to voicemail. If I answered it, he would tell Shawn that I was crying, and I didn't want that. About ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. I got up and opened the door.

"Oh honey." My mom said. I let her in and we sat down on the couch in the living room.

"I don't want to talk." I said, figuring that Shawn had called her.

"Honey, Shawn called me. He said that he tried calling your cell phone, the home phone, and he tried texting you but you didn't answer. He said that he even had Andrew call you but you didn't answer him either. What's going on?" Mom asked.

"I'm not good enough for Shawn so I've been crying and I don't want Shawn to know that I'm crying." I said. My mom's eyes widened.

"What do you mean you're not good enough for Shawn? You guys are perfect for each other." She said. I shook my head.

"That's not what the fans are saying." I said. My mom sighed.

"Don't listen to them. They don't see how in love you guys are. They don't see you the way our family and the Mendes family and yours and Shawn's friends see you. All of your loved ones know how in love you guys are." My mom said.

"I feel like it would be best if I left Shawn. He would be so much better off without me." I said as my body shook with sobs.

"Y/n, that is not at all true. You need to call him and tell him how you feel." She said. I shook my head.