Shawn Mendes Imagines Part 3 {COMPLETED}

72. You Journal To Him

A/n: Explicit language in this one! Anyways, please enjoy this imagine. Okay, let's begin!

My husband of three months, Shawn Mendes, has been at meetings all day, which is both good and bad all at the same time. Bad, because I miss him dearly. Good, because my depression is acting up, and I don't want him to watch me just lay in bed while sadness eats away at me for no apparent reason. I don't want him to worry about me. I went downstairs and put on the television while I waited for Shawn to get home. Even though I had been laying in bed all day, I still felt tired, so I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes.

"Mrs. Mendes, wake up. Come on, let's get you to bed." Shawn said as I opened my eyes. I gave him a soft smile.

"Hi baby. What time is it?" I asked as I sat up. Shawn sat down next to me.

"Eight thirty at night. Let's go up to bed babe." Shawn said as he picked me up.

"No, put me down." I said. He gave me a funny look.

"Why?" He asked.

"I'm too heavy." I said. Shawn frowned and shook his head.

"You're not heavy at all. Are you okay babe? You seem off." Shawn asked and said. I nodded.

"I'm okay. Just tired." I lied. He nodded and refused to set me down, and carried me to bed instead. He covered me up and placed a kiss on my temple before getting in on his side of the bed and holding me.

"Good night my darling. I love you." He said.

"Good night honey. I love you too." I said. I closed my eyes but couldn't fall asleep. I felt too sad. Finally, around two in the morning, I crept out of bed, grabbed my journal, went downstairs, and wrote down exactly how I was feeling. Maybe I would read it to Shawn in the morning. I tried to fall asleep after I journaled, but I was too wound up, so I ended up reading a book instead. Around seven in the morning, Shawn came downstairs and smiled at me.

"Good morning my darling wifey. How did you sleep last night?" He said and asked as he sat down next to me. I sighed.

"I didn't." I said. His eyes widened.

"You didn't sleep at all last night?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No." I said.

"Why didn't you wake me up baby?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I didn't want to bother you." I said.

"Y/n you never bother me, you know that." He said. I nodded.

"I um, I journaled last night. Would it be okay if I read it to you or do you want to read it yourself?" I asked.

"Why don't you read it to me babe?" Shawn asked. I nodded as I opened up my journal and then looked at him.

"I just want to warn you before I read this, you're not going to like what I wrote." I said. He gave me a suspicious look but nodded.

"Okay. Honey, we have to communicate, so read it to me and tell me what's going on in that beautiful head of yours." He said. I smiled a little and then began to read what I had written during the wee hours of the morning.

"Shawn,

You're not going to like any of what I'm about to say, but I need you to hear me out. Yesterday, I was both happy and sad that you were away at meetings. Sad because I missed you just like I always do, but happy because I didn't want you to worry about me. Yesterday my depression came back harder than it has in a long time, and I didn't want you to worry about me as I laid in bed yesterday and stared at the wall while sadness ate away at me. I knew that if I had texted you and told you that I was struggling, you would have come home, but I didn't want to bother you. I know that you say that I never bother you, but that's just how I felt.