Always & Forever (Nick & Bailey #2)

9. Bailey

I've had to stop myself from confronting Ian all week. I know my mom is probably right—that I need to give him space—but with the amount of time he's spent holed up in his room alone, I'm being reminded of right before he got his Bipolar diagnosis.

He would refuse to leave his room for days at a time. He wouldn't let anyone in besides Nick and my mom—occasionally. I was so worried and scared for him back then, and I felt helpless. It was a relief when he was finally convinced to see a doctor.

My parents are assuring me that he's taking his meds, and they are checking on him regularly. They insist that he's fine but just wants to be alone. I'm sure that's just their way of saying he doesn't want to see me.

But at least I'm not alone. He doesn't want to see Nick either—which is the more shocking situation. Since we were twelve, I can't remember those two ever spending this much time apart. I can tell it's effecting Nick.

While he's telling me that he doesn't regret our relationship or telling my family, I can see the sadness in his eyes every time he walks past Ian's closed bedroom door.

I'm doing my best to keep his mind off of it though, but I can't use my usual methods of distraction since Nick suddenly has a moral compass telling him that we shouldn't do anything sexual in my parents' house. I tried my hardest the first couple nights, but he wouldn't cave.

So we went to the movies last night, which was fun, except when we ran into Ian in the living room after we got back. We didn't see him at first, but as soon as we did, Nick went from laughing to looking like his puppy just died.

To clear my mind, I decided to go for a run this morning but by the time I get back, I still have no idea what to do about Ian. At least I felt like I was able to breathe for the first time in a week. The house and the pent up tension inside it are starting to suffocate me.

I'm surprised to see Ginny in her front yard across the street from my house. I haven't seen her since last summer. It seemed like our school breaks never coincided or we were both just too busy when we were home at the same time.

The first time that I saw her after Nick and her kissed post-prom, I expected to feel some resentment. After all, she and Nick have had sex repeatedly according to Ian, and she was part of the reason that Nick and I weren't together back then.

But I didn't. She had no clue what a complicated relationship Nick and I had. The only person to blame for that night and that kiss was Nick. And I can't exactly blame either of them for hooking up before I was even in the picture. If I did that, I'd be pissed at half of my high school.

I usually try not to think about Nick's previous casual attitude toward sex, but seeing Ginny again is causing a feeling of jealousy—and possibly resentment?—to surface.

I hate that. I've always known who he was, and how he was, so why am I getting upset about it now?

Maybe because I haven't been face to face with it until now—not since he became my official boyfriend anyway.

She sees me jogging down the sidewalk and waves, so I cross the street to say hi. I'm slightly out of breath when I reach her. "Ginny! Hi! I would hug you but I am a sweaty ass mess right now."

She waves me off. "No worries. I was just coming out to get the newspaper. I can't believe you are still into the whole running thing."

"I'm not so much anymore, actually. What about you? Are you home for the summer?"

She shakes her head. "I'm actually going to England for a couple months. I'm just home for a week."

"England! Holy shit. What for?"