Always & Forever (Nick & Bailey #2)

23. Bailey

As my friends and I line up behind the platform with our jumping gear on, I can't help but feel a little disappointed.

Certainly not because of the view, or the height, or the company, because all of that is great. But because this is the first instant that I realize that I'm actually about to jump into a canyon, and if my rope breaks, I will be going head first into the rapid waters below.

When I skydived, it was all I could think about for a week before the actual day, and the anticipation was half of the fun. Because of Nick, I've barely given this event a second thought until this moment.

"I can't do this," Missy says, looking back at us. She is going first, so we can all can make sure she doesn't flake on us.

"Yes you can!" The three us of say in unison.

"Just walk out there," I say. "Don't look down and jump before you can change your mind. You won't regret it."

She gives me a 'save me' look, but I pull her into an encouraging hug instead. "You can do this."

She takes a deep breath, in through her nose and out through her mouth, and nods. "Thanks, Bailey. I'll see you at the bottom...I hope."

I smile as she turns around and walks to the platform. I see the instructors giving her tips and suggestions while hooking her up to the rope, and she's responding with slight nods every so often.

When she's set up, standing at the edge of the platform, I feel nervous for the first time today—nervous for her and for myself. A part of me had forgotten that it's my turn after hers.

The instructor counts down from three, and I'm so proud of my girl. The moment "jump" comes out of his mouth, Missy is gone. She didn't hesitate.

The blood curling scream that we hear next is little disturbing, though. I'd describe as a mix between a Tyrannosaurus rex and a dolphin.

Abby, Derek and I all look at the instructor to make sure Missy didn't just fall to her death based on the sound she was making, but he's keeled over, laughing hysterically. When he stands back up, he looks at us, hand on his chest as he tries to catch his breath. "I've never heard a noise like that in my life." He looks over the edge. "She's fine, she's being pulled down now. Who's next?"

I slowly walk up to the platform. I wish Nick were here. He'd calm my nerves like he is always able to.

As I'm getting hooked up to the rope, I think about that. No matter what doubts I have had this week, whenever push comes to shove and I need someone, my person is always Nick.

I stare at the hills disappearing into the horizon and when I hear the word "go", I go. I jump as far as I can with my legs tied together, and as I free fall, I can see the river at the bottom getting closer and closer in slow motion. I trust the cord will stop me.

When I'm up here, nothing matters. It's just me, and the wind, and the air—until my legs get pulled back upwards. I bounce more quickly than I would have imagined and fall again. I lose count of how many times I bounce, and before I know it, I'm upside down in state of pure calmness.

Nick and I have had a couple of rough days, undoubtedly. But there's no reason we can't start again. Every day, every hour, every minute is a new beginning.

Who knew that hanging upside down alone in the middle of a canyon would be so eye opening? I'm a Zen master now.

I feel myself start to lower, and Missy runs over and hugs me when I reach solid ground. "That was so awesome!"

I nod, but I'm not able to speak. I feel high, surrounded by a state of euphoria. I remember this feeling after skydiving, and how I had sex with Evan for the first time immediately after. Although I have no intention of having sex with Missy, I understand the urgency I felt then. I want to connect with someone. Actually...no, I want to connect with Nick, and only Nick.